21st Century Breakdown
by cuter-than-a-guinea-pig
Summary: After graduation, Kurt Hummel & Rachel Anderberry escape small minded Lima and run away to NY to follow their Broadway dreams. Five years later, their world is slowly crumbling as they realize that New York is a city not to be taken lightly. How will they get back on their feet? Will the arrival of a third lost soul to their comfortable party of two shake things up for the better?
1. Song of the Century

**A/N: Hi everyone! Firstly, I'd like to apologise for the long author's note. Skip if you wish!**

**Ok so this story is going to be very different from my usual stuff for those that happen to be familiar with it. This is going to be a really dark and angsty, AU fic about how wrong NY could go for Rachel, Kurt, and Blaine. I'm basing it on Green Day's '21****st**** Century Breakdown' album (which I absolutely love btw). In no way will this be a song fic though and there is really no need to have ever listened to their music or like their music. It's simply being used as inspiration. There are 18 songs on the album so there will be 18 chapters. I'll post a link to the song every chapter in case you want to hear it but like I said, it really isn't necessary. Updates should be once a week at some point over the weekend.**

This chapter is kind of the prologue and pretty tame but there will definitely be some dark things to come so I'll put up the warnings now and in the actual chapters where they appear.

**Warnings:** sexual themes, sex, homophobic slurs, violence, rape.  
(the violence and the rape will both only occur once and the rest of the story will deal with  
the aftermath)

**I hope you enjoy  
Lessthanthree  
Katie**

**Song Link: ** www {.} youtube {.} com/watch?v=y2leZ75VKg0

**POV:** Kurt

_Chapter 1 : Song of the Century_

He cut the lights on his navigator as he pulled it slowly up to the oppressing wealth that was the black, rod iron gates that guarded the winding driveway from the unworthy lower class that riddled the isolated Ohio town. He had always hated those gates. He supposed they prepared him for the unwelcome vibe that the owners spewed at him if he stepped through the front door but he would rather have an extra few moments of contentment before being subjected to judgement and ridicule.

After sending a quick text the gates opened and ominously allowed his vehicle entrance. He was suddenly glad for the wealth that poured from all the cracks and crevasses, a poor attempt at covering them in his mind, because it paid for sufficient oil to prevent squeaking gears from blowing his cover. He was accustomed to sneaking into the mansion and smuggling his partner in crime out. Tonight the stakes were higher though. Tonight he was sneaking her out for good. Tonight was no longer about a break from the stuffy, unloving, pretension parents. Tonight was about leaving everything behind and finally following their dreams. If that meant running away, so be it.

He was nervous easing to a stop in front of the grand double doored entrance. This could go wrong in so many ways but there was no turning back now. They had packed up his clothes and DVDs and books and photos, practically his whole life into the back of his car earlier that day. They had been able to do so in broad day light because he had the tentative support from his father. The mechanic was certainly not thrilled with his only son's decision but the man had no intentions of physically preventing him from trying to fulfill his dream. The girl who was slowly opening the front door with the first bag of her own life in hand was in a bit of a different situation. A situation that required escape in the cover of night fall with only a quarter moon to light their way. She was counting on him to see this through.

He quickly took the suitcase, custom designed with gold stars scattered across the pink fabric in a way that only she would like. He placed it down in the empty space in the trunk that they had methodically created to make this go as smoothly as possible. She handed him the next one and he placed it beside the first. The third and fourth bags fit snuggly on top of the previous two leaving the girl with a pillow, a teddy bear, and a back pack to keep up front with her.

After closing the trunk as softly as possible and wincing at the unavoidable thunk that it made anyways, he climbed back into the drives seat and waited for his passenger to get settled. He looked over at her smiling softly at the thought of the journey ahead of them. It was no doubt going to prove tough but they had each other and considering they had survived the ignorant zoo that was high school just the two of them, they truly believed that the other was all they needed.

She turned to him and took hold of his hand resting readily on the gear shift, squeezing lightly. It was like she needed some reassurance that this was actually happening, that he was coming through for her instead of abandoning her like everyone else had.

"_You ready, Rach?_" he whispered softly, scared of making too much noise but of also breaking the eerie calm. She had turned back towards the house, the one place that should have felt like home to her but never did, with sad eyes. He could tell from the desolate look that washed over her chocolate brown orbs that leaving was already proving more difficult than either of them had imagined. He didn't think that she would miss the house or the family but he knew that it was hard to close the door completely. They could never change for her now. She had hoped for years but it was finally time to give up and move forward. The sad eyes were definitely a reflection of her heart shattered with disappointment.

"_Yes,_" she answered simply and quietly after a moment. She squeezed his hand firmer and turned back the face him. Her eyes were brighter now and a grin grew across her lips as she answered more resolutely, "_Yeah, Kurt, I am most definitely ready._"

Kurt glanced at his dash clock as he merged onto the I-80 E. It read 3:13am. They were about two hours into their ten and a half hour trek that would take them from Lima, across Pennsylvania and New Jersey, and finally into the great city itself. The highway was deserted, presenting itself like a dark stage before him, waiting for him to step forth and fill it with his mind, body, and soul. The cars head lights were the only light source cutting through the black night. They appeared as spot lights on the empty stage beckoning him to step within their glow, to allow their beams to illuminate him for once. The dull drone of the engine rang like applause in his ears, welcoming him home, to the stage and the light and the rest of his life.

Rachel was snoring softly beside him, head resting softly on her pillow, arms wrapped tight around her bear. The scene didn't surprise him in the least. They had a habit of just jumping in the car and going for drives. Ohio was full of isolated back roads that seemingly stretched on forever, weaving between the farmer's fields. It's funny that even though they were New York bound, their favorite part of Lima was the vastly endless space. They longed for that space if only for a means to escape for a little while, a way to pretend that they had the freedom to leave and chose something better. If ever they were out at night, Rachel would always fall asleep. She just found something comforting about the gentle drone of the engine, the quite peace of the sleepy fields, and the simple company of her best friend and that comfort alone allowed her to relax for once, let her mind grow hazy with rest, and her eye lids droop.

Kurt never minded being abandoned for sleep. Rachel had a tendency to talk a lot so this was an easy way to shut her up. The petit girl was also a very heavy sleeper and so he could keep listening to music or radio shows or books on tape if he pleased. He was quite thankful for this at the moment. The last thing he needed was to fall asleep at the wheel and the upbeat playlist he had sounding through the car was helping him to stay awake and alert.

Honestly, Kurt thought that he was running purely on adrenalin at this point. He had already drunk at least seven cups of coffee that day and he was sure his body was immune to the caffeine at this point. The excitement and realization of what was actually happening was what kept him going. Just yesterday had been their graduation. They had sat and listened to speeches made by people they didn't care about and who didn't care about them and they had walked across the stage in their caps and gowns and were finally handed that coveted get out of jail free card. They had smiled for pictures that would one day make it seem like they had enjoyed high school when really the only reason they were happy was because it was done. They had spent the day with their respective families, Rachel, pretending to be on good terms with hers and keeping them all thinking that she was sticking around for the summer and heading off to Harvard in the fall for business, while he and his father tried to avoid tearing up as they packed up his room.

With all the planning and studying in that last week of school and hitting the road the day they were granted freedom, Kurt hadn't really had a chance to sit back and breath it all in. Now though, with the open highway guiding the way, the realization the he was finally getting his chance to pass go hit him. This was his moment to shine, to make his mark, to show the world what he was made of. The possibilities seemed endless, the opportunities grander, the lights that reflected in his soul, brighter. Kurt could only hope that he would never let them dim.


	2. 21st Century Breakdown

**A/N: so this is kinda the first chapter (the other one can be thought of as a prologue). It takes place five years after Kurt and Rachel packed up the car. They were 18 then so they're roughly 23 now. There are a lot of things happening in this chapter and so I hope it doesn't seem to busy. This was the scene, or few scenes, of this story that came to me first when l so I couldn't break it up.  
I'd love to know what you think  
lessthanthree  
Katie**

**Warnings: **homophobic slurs, violence

**Song Link:** www {.} youtube {.} com/watch?v=Sp5PN1HG_PQ&feature=relmfu

**POV:** Kurt

_Chapter 2 : 21__st__ Century Breakdown_

"_Hi, what can I get for you?" _He said the little phrase for what felt like the hundredth time that day with a sore smile. It was a typical Tuesday. He and Rachel had been the only ones working in the little coffee shop for the past five hours and after this last customer, they could finally close down for the night and then head back to their tiny one bedroom apartment. It was movie night tonight so they would end up curled together on the couch, watching a DVD they had already seen a hundred times and fall asleep tangled under a blanket. Tuesday night movies had become their thing and Rachel had bailed on him last week to meet up with a friend so Kurt was looking forward to tonight.

It was important to look forward to the little things when everything else seemed to be ridden with disappointment. It was heartbreaking to admit but New York had indeed stomped on their dreams faster than Ohio had. At least in Ohio they had had a light at the end of the tunnel. Here though, it felt as if Time Square was sucking away that bright spark to mock them with its flashy signs. Maybe they deserved to be mocked. Maybe the city of dreams was offended by the two high school grads from Lima who thought they could conquer its jungle terrain by just setting foot across the Brooklyn Bridge. Whether or not a spiteful heart beat deep below the bustling streets, it was safe to say that he and his friend had been naïve and were now paying the consequences.

Neither of them had stepped foot on a Broadway stage in the five years they had been in New York. They could barely even secure an audition let alone win the part. They spent all their minimal earnings on food and rent meaning they couldn't even indulge in the viewing of New York's greatest attraction. The one bedroom apartment had turned from temporary into permanent about three years ago when they had given up on finding something better. Being chivalrous, Kurt had insisted Rachel take the bedroom and he take the living room couch that they had picked up off the side of the street. That's where they had gotten most of their furniture. He had long since forgotten what it was like to sleep in an actual bed. The one thing that he was thankful for in his new life was that the jolting slap of an ice cold shower made it impossible to doddle and be late for work.

Work….while they had been planning on dancing and singing and acting their way out of living paycheck to paycheck and establishing a career, the harsh reality had the bright eyed dreamers making lattes for suits. It certainly wasn't terrible; it was stable and the atmosphere was pleasant. Rachel would say that it was sometimes a little too pleasant. She often joked that the owner, Jimmy Jessup, had a thing for Kurt and not in a way that would seem agreeable or even consensual. She insisted that that is why Kurt got more shifts than her. Kurt always chuckled and played along with her even though he was fairly certain that his ability to make drinks without turning the counter into a war zone was the reason for the scheduling. It was still good entertainment and sometimes the hours standing behind that counter could drag on without it.

"_Uh yeah, can I get an extra tall espresso with a double shot," _the customer lazily replied. It wasn't even worth putting on the smile or asking how their day was. Everybody who came in was more or less a drone making a necessary but insignificant stop in their life to get coffee. Kurt might as well have been a machine.

"_Of course, that'll be five-thirty two."_ He kept the smile on. It wasn't worth getting caught without it. Mr. Jessup took the customer experience very seriously even though the vast majority of customers just wanted to get their drinks and get to work or school or home as soon as possible.

After taking the money, Kurt went over and made the drink since Rachel was busy with the closing clean- up in the back. He handed the man his coffee as Rachel reappeared with the store phone in her hand.

"_Jimmy wants to talk to you_," she informed him with a shiver handing over the phone before taking over the till.

"_Hi, Mr. Jessup, what's up?"_

"_You can call me Jimmy, Kurt,_" the manager chuckled.

"Uh, _right, of course, sorry,_" Kurt stumble back.

"_Don't sweat it, kid. Anyways, can you close next Monday by yourself? Mondays are typically slow because there's no theater crowd so I want to try just staffing one person._"

"_Umm, yeah sure, I'll give it a go._"

"_Perfect. Have a goodnight, Kurt._"

"_Thanks, bye._"

Kurt couldn't help the uneasy feeling in his stomach as he hung up. If Mr. Jessup was cutting shifts then that meant overall, both he and Rachel would work less. Money was tight as it was and he was worried about how much longer they could last if it got even tighter.

"_What's up? Was he being creepy again,_" Rachel questioned when he walked back out to the front. He was never very good at hiding things.

"_No, and I don't really think he ever is creepy. He's just cutting shifts again. He wants me to start closing on Mondays by myself instead of with Carron_," he reluctantly replied.

"_Oh,_" there was an all telling pause before Rachel continued. "_Well since you need to start getting use to that, do you mind if I take off now, I'm going to meet up with some friends I met at an audition?_"

"_But tonight's movie night_." Kurt winced a little knowing that that had probably come out more dejected than he meant it to.

"I'm s_orry Kurt but you know how important networking is and all. Next week though, I promise._"

Rachel had already been taking off her apron and heading for the door as she answered him. It wasn't like her to bail on him especially in such a flippant manner. This was second week in a row she was going to miss movie night and if Kurt thought about it, the brunette had been out of the house a lot recently. There was no way she was out with friends every night. He had bought the excuses earlier but after seeing the panicked look that flashed in front of her eyes when he mentioned fewer shifts, he realised there was no way she could afford it. In most cases it might be worrisome to see a friend go out every night to clubs and bars but now the thought that drinking and dancing with people she barely knew wasn't where she had been disappearing to, troubled him more. On top of all that, she was lying to him. Rachel never lied to him. There had been some rough times in her life but they were never kept from his ears.

Kurt made up his mind quickly and stuffed his apron in his locker, grabbing his coat and keys before stepping outside and locking down the store. He was thank-full it had been slow that night and they managed to accomplish most of the cleaning before Rachel took off. He spotted her a few blocks away, walking quickly, hands clutching her bag furiously, shoulders hunched, head down. It was weird to see her walking so dejectedly. Rachel had often drilled the importance of posture and confidence into him saying things like '_people will never believe your light unless you shine it right in their face._' Maybe she was just cold; there was definitely a chilling breeze disturbing the night air. Maybe she felt guilty for lying.

He caught up with her a bit after several more blocks but kept his distance. Kurt couldn't help looking around with wary eyes as with each step he took, the neighbourhood seemed to become ominously darker. Broken bottles littered the street, shouts rang out from apartment windows, men dressed in black hoodies and baggy jeans leered and taunted any passerby. By the time Rachel entered the side door of a building, Kurt couldn't help thinking that this area had enough evil to cast a shadow over anyone's shining light. His heart sank further into despair when he saw what building it was that Rachel had walked into.

It was a strip club. A bright marquee was lit up over the main entrance. It read '_Liquid Assets_' in bold at the top and then below had a list of girls that were '_staring_' in tonight's entertainment. It was a poor and appalling imitation of the marquees several blocks east. It made his skin crawl before it all hit him again. Rachel, his best friend, the bright and beautiful and talented beyond belief girl who had managed to retain that innocent spark after the utter hell her family put her through, had just walked through the '_stage door_' of a strip club. There must be some mistake here, there had to be. He must have missed something.

Kurt took a deep breath and headed for the front doors of the club. He wasn't sure what was scarier, the blackened street or the moral slaughter and horrifying truth that awaited him inside. He showed the bouncer his ID, thankful it was a Tuesday so there was no cover charge, and parted the red curtains that lead the way in to the depths of society's saddest fate.

The first thing he noticed was the smell. The cigarette smoke created this hazy poisonous gas of tobacco, cheap booze, and sweat. It was nauseating. He might have actually thrown up if his stomach had not had the ten minutes outside the club to get used to the retched churning. The next thing Kurt became aware of was the men. This was by no means a high end strip joint and the patrons reflected that. They were greasy and grimy, their eyes black with the perversion of phoney power and empty arousal. They were loud, laughing and jeering, hollering and grunting like animals at the poor objects of their distorted affection. That's essentially what the performers were to them, mindless, emotionless, soulless objects. They swayed and gyrated, humping the dirty and used poles, presenting themselves in ways that beautiful young women should never have to, especially in front of men like these.

Honestly, it was heartbreaking. The only thing keeping him together was the thought that these women were business women, they knew what they were doing and he should not victimise them when he had no knowledge of know their story. Once he spotted the doe eyed brunette caressing the pole furthest to his left, her legs spread, that resolve disappeared and his heart finally shattered.

Kurt could feel tears pooling in his sad eyes. He could not help it. He had failed her. She had put all her trust in him and he had allowed it to come to this without even knowing it. As tears began to trickle down his cheeks, Kurt's eyes remained glued to Rachel as if a friendly and protective presence to the atrocities could help make it better, as if his pure adoration and love for the girl could help shield her from her repulsive audience.

As he watched, Kurt noticed that she was actually decent at the job. When he thought about it, this did not really come as a surprise. Rachel was not a stripper, she was performer playing a stripper and she would not be Rachel if she didn't pour one hundred percent into the role. For her sake, he hoped her dedication to professionalism would stick this time. He watched her get lost in the dance, the performance, the character. He watched her tune out the men and only acknowledge them when they were throwing money her way. It was almost as if she was in her own little world, a teenager tucked away in the privacy of her bedroom exploring her new found sexuality. She stayed safe there until she spotted something.

Her eyes locked onto a man in the crowd and stayed there as she swayed around the stage. Kurt shuffled a bit from where he had been cemented with disbelief in order to see who had stolen her from her safe little bubble. The man was sitting in the back. He was young, too young to be in a place like this, with dark curly hair and bright hazel eyes that reminded Kurt slightly of Rachel's. He actually reminded Kurt a lot of Rachel. He had her olive skin and full plump lips and cute nose. Kurt turned his gaze back to Rachel, irrationally afraid that she had been swallowed alive by the hungry animals eyeing her flesh while he wasn't watching. She was still fixated on the man, a look of confusion and embarrassment upon her once relaxed face.

Kurt turned back to the man but before he could put any more thought to who he was, he realized something odd. The man wasn't watching the dancers. He was certainly nursing a drunken mind and a state of arousal like the other patrons but it didn't seem as if it was the dancers that were doing it for him. It was the other men. The guy was getting off on watching the men around him get off ogling the dancers.

Kurt suddenly felt a surge of empathy for the man who he had only minutes ago wanted to destroy for tearing away Rachel's focus, surly the only thing keeping her alive. It was no fun to be closeted and this guy had to be a strong case if the only place where he could get relief was at a straight strip club while pretending to watch the girls.

Kurt didn't get long to contemplate the empty life of the lost man before all hell broke loose. It was hard to imagine this place falling further into the fiery depths but he guessed that homosexuality mixed with ignorant animals will do just that. Kurt didn't see who but someone besides him and Rachel must have realised what this man was doing and within seconds he had become the prey to feast upon.

"_How do you like me now, you little faggot?" _

"_You worthless piece of shit, leering at our dicks like that. Only those whores on stage are allowed to suck them."_

"_We're going to teach you a lesson about what happens to filthy cumsluts like you. Do you know what happens fag? Do you? They get beaten to death because that's where they belong."_

Kurt could see the punches flying, legs swinging and bottles breaking. He could hear the shouts of the poor man, screaming in fear and pain. The bouncers seemed to have little interest and sat contently at the bar waiting for the brawl to sort itself out. The pack of hyenas eventually dragged the man out into the blackened street. They seemed to prefer the man to have a concrete pillow instead of a cushy chair.

It all seemed to take place in slow motion and at the same time in the blink of an eye. The horrific slaughter seemed to imprint in his mind holding it there longer and yet there was no time to breath or think or do anything but stare at the blatant homophobic attack. After what seemed like hours, the sirens from the approaching police car scared the predators away and Kurt finally got a glimpse of the damage before the officers began to tend to him. There was blood everywhere, his clothes looked torn, and he was clutching his chest. An ambulance showed up shortly after. Kurt had almost forgotten about Rachel until the girl came running frantically out of the building calling out to the man now being lifted onto a stretcher.…_ "BLAINE! Oh my God, Blaine! Wait, wait no, wait, that's, that's my brother! That's my baby brother!" _


	3. Know Your Enemy

**A/N: I know I said I would post on Monday nights but I got a little antsy with this one so it's going up now. I'll probably start posting Saturday afternoons from now on. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it and I'd love to hear what you think!  
lessthanthree  
Katie**

**Song Link: ** www {.} youtube {.} com/watch?v=-a2ORH29HOY&feature=relmfu

**POV:** Kurt / Rachel

_Chapter 3 : Know Your Enemy_

"_And now I'd like to touch in with Candice Grayson who has some information about a disturbance that occurred around one this morning on West 29__th__ and 10__th__. Candice"_

"_Yes, thank-you Brian, it seems that another violent fight that left one man in critical condition has broken out at a strip club. The club's security say that there were at least seven men involved and that the brawl began inside and was then taken to the streets. Police were only able to question one of the men involved and that's because he was so banged that he needed to be rushed to emergency and placed in the ICU. This is the third in the few recent months and I for one think that this calls for serious action to the closure of these sinful establishments. Men are just too tempted and affected by women displaying themselves and when they are then denied the ability to act on their reaction to it, their testosterone is directed elsewhere. Now in no way here am I defending the men involved in the brawl. They are obviously deplorable and sick for being in such a place and partaking in such a disgrace of society. I believe that the man in the ICU got what he deserved and while the others involved in the fight deserve similar fates, I think that we need to focus our energy on shutting establishments like these down. Women who have nothing more to give than their naked flesh should not be rewarded for it. Strip clubs encourage females to drop out of school and to forgo real careers because they are being given the option to take off their clothes and dance provocatively for money instead. Some of the dancers in this very club are very likely to be mothers to young children. Now, I don't know about you but don't you think that a mother should be home at night to read to their children and tuck them in and not stripping bare for drunk men? Whose even watching these children? They're not hanging out at the club are they? I don't even know if places like these would even have regulations against that. You see Brian, these establishments are too destructive and far from the proper Christian values of this great nation. A stop needs to be put to this immediately."_

"_Yes Candice, it certainly seems that way. Now moving on….."_

He stared blankly at the screen. Rachel hadn't noticed him in the commotion of the previous night and had yet to call him about her fail to return home. He couldn't blame her. The realization that her baby brother, who she hadn't seen in years, had turned up out of nowhere and was then beaten within an inch of his life in front of her eyes for presumably being gay was enough to keep anyone busy. He was starving for information though. Kurt had raced home the moment the ambulance had pulled away to await her call. He couldn't even sit still for longer than a minute once he got there.

He recalled the few times he had met Blaine when they were younger. He was the boy with the bowties and suspenders who had enough energy to bounce off the walls but was always supressed and made to sit still and proper. They had never talked much. Blaine was so much younger and with Rachel on the outs, Kurt suspected Blaine was trying to stay on his parents good sides. Hanging out too much with the family disgrace and her 'faggy' friend would not have bid well for the young teen. He had seemed sweet though. Kurt often thought he would have been on their side if not for the fear instilled in him. To see him cling to life like that, so desperately and yet so dejectedly had tugged at his heart.

For some reason Kurt needed Blaine to be okay. It was probably more for his need of Rachel to be okay. He knew this could be Rachel's breaking point. He wanted to be there for her so bad. Kurt couldn't even imagine what was going through the girl's mind as she sat alone in the waiting room awaiting the fate of her brother. Rachel didn't know Kurt had discovered her secret though and he didn't want to upset her further so he decided to stay away. They had work in a few hours anyways and Kurt knew neither could afford to lose the pay so he could probably be more effective at the coffee shop covering for her than he could at the hospital.

Out of sheer desperation for information, an hour before he had to leave for work, Kurt had walked down to the breakfast café at the end of their block that religiously had their television turned to the news. The result was retching. There was no mention of the homophobia behind the attack. They had practically insinuated that Blaine had participated in the dueling match instead of being the victim. The reporters had spun it to fit their agenda instead of reporting the real disgusting truth to the story. Kurt left shortly, scared that listening to more would result in a smashed screen and a bruised up hand.

* * *

The hospital waiting room had been torturous. She hadn't had time to clean off her stage make up or change out of her costume. Her jacket was the only thing concealing her shameful secret. She felt naked sitting there, like all the eyes in the busy building were on her and now there was no character to hide behind. She couldn't run either or turn to anyone for support. She knew Kurt would be by her side in a heartbeat and she wanted him there desperately but she couldn't call him, she couldn't let him see her like this. Rachel would rather have every scrutinizing pair of eyes in this hospital on her than the shining blue ones of her best friend. She couldn't face him because that meant facing herself, a prospect far too terrifying to even fathom in a time like this. No, she couldn't let herself break. She had to sit there alone and be strong for Blaine.

That was another thing: Blaine. Why was he here in New York? Did their parents know? How long had he been here? Why was he at the club? Was he actually gay? Had he hidden it away for years because he knew that the consequences would be devastating? Had they proven to be so? She just wanted to know. There were so many questions spinning in her head but the one that would not leave her alone, the one that all the others would lead back to, was if her baby brother would be okay.

She looked up as she heard click clack of shoes on the linoleum floor. She had been looking up every time she heard someone approaching for the last six hours. She always turned away quickly when the person turned out to be of no consequence to her in order to hide her made up face. Her head remained up this time.

"_Miss Rachel Anderberry?_" The doctor calmly asked as he drew closer from down the ominous hall that stretched back into the depths of the hospital. He was much too calm for the situation in Rachel's opinion but nevertheless she answered. This was no time for an impromptu acting class.

"_Yes. How is he?_" She stood as she spoke, adjusting her coat to ensure that she remained covered.

"_He's out of surgery and in recovery right now. You're welcome to go see him but he might not wake up for a while. There shouldn't be any brain damage but he has several broken ribs, his right collar bone was fractured too and there was extensive internal bleeding and bruising. We're keeping him in critical care to monitor the brain activity and haemorrhaging. That's truly our biggest concern at this point. He lost a lot of blood. He'll be bruised up for a while but he should hopefully make a full recovery. He's in room 128._"

"_Thank-you, Doctor._"

She was sure there were more questions the she should have asked but Rachel had never dealt with anything like this before. Instead, she took off at a brisk pace down the long hallway. The hustle and bustle of the hospital seemed to die with every step she took. The once prominent voices of nurses and other staff faded away under the steady beeping of various life preserving machines. Rachel couldn't decide if the seclusion was better or not.

She took a deep breath as she approached his room, psyching herself up for the view of his mangled body. She was starting to get used to it during the ambulance ride but that had been six hours ago and there was no knowing what it would look like now.

Rachel stepped in quietly, though the anesthetic would have kept him sleeping peaceful either way. She took a moment to just look at the man on the bed after she had eased the door shut. There were bandages and bruises and tubes and wires. His body didn't seem to belong to him anymore. It just seemed to be part of the machine.

She could tell it was Blaine; Rachel would know her baby brother anywhere but behind all the damage, Rachel knew no longer lay the fourteen year old boy that she had said goodbye to in Ohio all those years ago. His body had filled out; the boy had become a man. She could see scruff on his cheeks where it wasn't hidden by a blackened bruise and wondered if their father had actually taken the time out to teach him to shave or if Blaine was simply left to figure it out for himself. His features had matured slightly, his jaw more pronounced now that his cheeks had lost some of their baby fat, but only some. Rachel smiled at the thought that despite all the changes he had still, for the most part, retained a boyish look about him. It made him seem young and energetic and eerily innocent to the predators that lay waiting in the wings. She thought of how happy he must be with the world at his feet until the broken flesh caught her eye again and the vivid images of the attack came back. The tears began to flood her eyes at the thought that someone had laid a hand on a boy so innocent.

Never letting her eyes leave him, Rachel walked carefully further into the small room and pulled the empty chair over to his bedside. She sat down slowly and picked up his left hand in her own, still vastly unsure of her own movements. Rachel didn't think he even knew that she had witnessed the attack. Rachel didn't even know if Blaine knew she was in New York. She gripped the limp hand tighter hoping that he would be receptive to her when he awoke.

It must have been another hour or two before she noticed the long, dark lashes fanning his cheeks begin to flutter and the gold in his irises catch the harsh fluorescent light of the room. He blinked sleepily a few times and shifted around before he seemed to take in his surroundings. Rachel watched him silently peer drowsily around the strange room, taking in the bed, the lights, the beeping monitors, and finally the hands gripping his own.

"_Blaine?_" Rachel spoke softly as to not startle him and squeezed the tentative hand reassuringly. "_It's okay, Blaine. You're okay._"

"_R-Rachel?_" His weak voice and the terrified expression that washed over his confused eyes almost broke her again but she took a steadying breath and pushed on.

"_Yeah, hi. It's, uh, it's been a long time, hasn't it?_"

"_W-what are you doing here?_"

"_Blaine, I-I saw what happened. I was there and I just couldn't leave you alone._" His hand was gone from hers before she had even finished speaking. He pulled away from her and his bright eyes glazed over in fear as he clumsily, still weak from the anesthetic and the attack, tried to back away from her only to be stopped by the bed and the pain. This is what Rachel had been most worried about.

"_W-what do you mean you s-saw what happened? Th-there was nothing to see._"

"_Blaine, a group of men beat you within inches of your life because they thought you were gay._"

"_N-no th-that's not what happened. I-I'm not gay. I just…..I'm not, okay_."

"_Okay, okay that's not important. How are you feeling? Do you want me to get a nurse?_" It's true. It wasn't important, at least not right now. Right now that fact the Blaine was lying in a hospital bed recovering from major surgery and would probably need some help once he got out of the hospital was what should be on their minds.

"_Umm, yeah, yeah okay. I think I'm going to need some pain meds._"

"_Okay, I'll be right back. Is there anyone I should call, mom or dad maybe?_" Rachel asked the question delicately because she had her suspicions.

"_No! Don't call them, please don't call them. They can't know, Rachel. Please. I'll be fine on my own._"

"_Hey, no, it's okay. I'm on your side here, Blaine. I'm always on your side. I was just wondering but I won't call, I promise. I don't think you should be by yourself though. I'm more than happy to be there for you. I just wanted to know if there was anyone that you were closer too but if not than that's perfectly fine. I bet Kurt would be happy to see you._" Rachel knew she hadn't been the most reliable sister. She abandoned Blaine when he was fourteen and had never looked back. She wouldn't blame him for not trusting her but she hoped he would. He looked like he needed someone to trust.


	4. iViva la Gloria!

**A/N: Hope you like it. Fell free to let me know :) **

**Song Link: ** www {.} youtube {.} com/watch?v=TjRbxFmJkqY&feature=relmfu

**POV:** Blaine

_Chapter 4 - __¡__Viva la Gloria__!  
_

It was amazing how quickly life could change. This concept was nothing new to him but it still made him pause. Three weeks ago he had been fine. He went to work, he went out for a drink with some of the guys, he came home to his two bedroom flat and turned on his plasma television, hoping on his treadmill and running full speed towards the characters on screen, sprinting towards escape while getting nowhere. He would run until his legs gave out and by that time his mind would be too weak to contemplate the reasons for the running and he would stumble down the hall to the empty king size bed and fall into a deep and peaceful sleep. His mind rejuvenating and his escape finally met. That was three weeks ago though and now the aches in his body and the beeping of the hospital machines kept him locked in a reality in which he was most certainly not fine.

In the grand scheme of things, a three week shake up out of the previous nineteen years of being fine should be manageable but this little crack in his routine began to highlight just how freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotionally drained he had actually been all those years and still was today. The worst of part of all of this though was there was no clear end to this new disturbance in sight. The short brunette girl came to visit him as often as she could and when she had learned that he would need to be cared for once he was discharged, the girl who he had once called his sister, insisted that he come and stay with her. There would be no escape in sight once he had been thrown from the only safety net he had been able to retain, visiting hours.

"_Well I think I've got all your paper work and they said you're free to go so….you ready?_" In Blaine's opinion, Rachel seemed way to chipper for the occasion.

"_Yeah,_" he replied solemnly. It was as if the happier she was the more he sunk into despair. That's how it had always been though. Him and Rachel had been close when they were young but when Rachel met Kurt, she began immersing herself in her new best friend instead of her little brother leaving Blaine by himself on nights they used to spend together. She did it again when she ran away to New York to fulfill her dreams, abandoning him all together. He had learned to expect it. It had become somewhat of a Pavlovian response to curl in on himself whenever Rachel seemed happy.

"_Blaine, hey, look at me._" She seemed to notice his distress. "_I know this isn't ideal but it's the best option either of us have. You need help and I think we both could benefit from finding that old friendship we used to have. I know you're angry with me but you won't have to deal with me too much. Kurt will be there too. Please give this fair chance, Blaine. It will only be for a little while._"

She seemed almost desperate for this to end well, almost as if this was the only straw she had left to grasp. In some twisted sort of way that made the situation a little easier for Blaine to stomach. "_I will,_" he replied, meeting her eyes for the first time since she had entered the small hospital room. He took her in for the first time too. She was dressed in her work uniform, a brown t-shirt with a coffee mug that said 'Perkies Coffee' in white font. She seemed to always be dressed that way when she came to visit. Rachel also seemed to always look tired, like she had been up all night and had then gone to work early in the morning. That twisted part of Blaine reared again as it hoped that her worry for him was what was keeping her up at night before he remembered the night of the attack and how she had been there.

Rachel had gathered up his bag with various things she had brought to occupy him with and stood with a wheel chair waiting. There was nothing else to do but go. His mind was too tired to think of any other reason to stall.

The cab ride to Rachel's apartment was a silence of the awkward variety but it was short at least. Rachel paid the driver and shouldered his bag before helping him carefully to his feet. It was still hurt to walk or even move with the broken ribs. Blaine winced a little as they made their way up to the second floor of the five story walk up. His insides ached and it was hard to breath. It felt a kin to someone stomping on his chest. The realization that that was probably what happened in this first place was unsettling.

Once Rachel got the door unlocked she hurried Blaine to the couch and let him sit while she went to get him some water. Blaine closed his eyes, scrunching them in pain as he focused on calming his breathing and relaxing. It was the only way to make the shooting pressure disappear. He kept his eyes closed until he heard Rachel returned and place the glass of water on what must have been a make shift coffee table before she disappeared once again to get changed. He waited a moment before attempting to pick up the glass. Moving slowly, Blaine bent forward but sat back almost instantly, gasping harshly in defeat when his body protested to the once mundane movement. He would have to wait for Rachel.

Blaine used the time to take in his surroundings. It wasn't what he had expected at all. He was almost expecting this to be some kind of joke. The paint on the walls was yellowing and peeling in multiple places, the carpet was all torn up, there was hardly any furniture and the pieces they did have seemed either worse for the wear or improvised out of sheer need. The coffee table was simply a sheet of ply wood resting on a couple of milk crates. There was a pillow resting neatly on top of a folded comforter perched at one end of the crude surface. It was clear that someone was using the couch as a bed. The more Blaine took in, the more concerned he grew.

"_So I'll set you up in the bedroom. Kurt and I'll crash out here_. _Bit of a stretch from Mom and Dad's place eh?_" Rachel noticed him looking around in what must have been bewildered shock.

"_Yeah. What happened?_" He could hear the pity in his own voice as he said it but it was too late to take it back.

"_Life, I suppose. Our dreams were big but New York's bigger and it likes to remind of us of this daily._" It was weird to hear Rachel speak so dejectedly about it. The girl Blaine grew up with was never a quitter especially when it came to preforming but there was something in her voice that made it sound like she had given up a long time ago. "_I'm sorry if it's not what you're used to but it's the best Kurt and I can do. It's really not too bad after a while and, I mean, there is a roof over our heads and it doesn't leak anymore…_"

He could tell his lack of response had made her nervous and insecure. Rachel always rambled when she was unsure of herself. She was a talker, loved to hear the sound of her own voice. Blaine knew she found it soothing. It was nice to know that the city had yet to stifle everything. Calling this place home would have certainly stifled him. Although maybe if he could truly call it his home, the manner in which the decrepit surroundings seemed to taunt their failure would cease because the freeing nature of knowing it was his would trump all else. Maybe that's why his sister had yet to crack. "_Well my place is definitely a step above this. I think the homeless man that hangs around my street has a better place than this. It's kinda cool though that you and Kurt are doing this on your own. Mom and Dad are paying for my place and set me up with my job._"

"_Where are you working?_" She sat next to him and Blaine could see that she had visibly relaxed now that the attention had been taken off her own failure. Rachel only liked the spotlight if it was for constructive purposes.

"_Dad's company. The New York branch. He kinda made me second in command here._"

"_So you're working under Peters? Is he still there?_"

"_Yeah, he's getting up there though and so I think Dad wants me to take over when he retires._"

"_Is that what you want?_"

"_Yes._" He said it too quickly. It came off too defensively.

"_Blaine, look at me. You don't have to live your life to please them anymore. Look at where it got you._" Rachel finished too softly for Blaine's  
liking. It was as if she was laying out one of those inflatable landing mats the police use for jumpers while she was trying to talk him down, covering all her angles and all his escape routes.

"_What's that supposed to mean._" Blaine didn't like where this was going. He could feel his walls going back up and frankly if Rachel wanted them to become close again she was going about it the wrong way.

"_You know exactly what it means. I won't say it out loud if you don't want me to but don't think you have to hide this from me or that you are hiding this from me, okay? Or even Kurt for that matter. We love you, Blaine. You're my baby brother and all I want is for you to be happy but Blainers, denying something like that because you're trying to make them proud isn't going to help anyone._"

Blaine turned away and looked down into his lap. She was right. He knew she was right. Rachel was always right. He had hid it for so long though. He had denied it and suppressed it so much that it almost seemed to have actually disappeared. It rarely reared its ugly head and his usual way of coping was to simply run. He would run until he outran it, lying the whole way about what he was running from. Now though, his body would no longer let him run and so now, he was stuck to face the beast within.

"_Oh yeah? You think that disappointing Mom and Dad, having them hate me and disown me is my best option because look where it got you, Rachel. You're a stripper. You think my sexuality is messed up? You take off your clothes and spread yourself for men to jack off to. Are you suggesting I join you? Because I don't think I'm willing to stoop that low._" Yelling was excruciating but he didn't care.

"_You don't think I know how fucked up it is? You don't think it eats at me every night? I haven't even told Kurt. I rather him think I'm sleeping around or out drinking my life away every night instead of….of what I'm actually doing. I-I just didn't know what else to do, Blaine. I needed money and I didn't have anywhere else to go. I'm on my own. I have been for the last five years._" He could see the tears running down her cheeks.

"_W-what about Kurt? I thought you guys were in this together. I thought you were close._"

"_We are and that's why he can't know. Blaine, it'll break his heart if he knows what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. He'll insist on giving me money because he would do anything for me; that's just who he is. He doesn't have the money to give though. Kurt gets more shifts at the coffee house so he can afford to just live off that but he doesn't have any extra. It just wouldn't be fair to him._"

Blaine's stomach lurched upon hearing this confession. Rachel obviously thought the world of Kurt and it seems as if her affections were returned. Blaine remembered it always being that way but he had sometimes wondered if that was just the jealousy speaking because the more time Rachel spent with Kurt the less time she spent with him. He had hoped it was just the green eyed monster making acquaintances with his other demons but alas he had been handed the proof that he did not hold the title of the most important boy in his sister's life. That coveted prize went to her best friend. Blaine seemed to have a hard time swallowing that, his gag reflex futilely forcing the truth back up and away simply because he didn't understand. He had never had a friend like Kurt. He had never had a friend he could talk to and count on. Every person in Blaine's life was nothing more than a cordial hello or a study buddy, or a round of drinks at the pub. How could he have more than that though when he would have to drop everything and run the second the beast began to stir? Maybe it was time to stop running. Maybe he had finally hit a brick wall in the form of a stubborn older sister. Maybe it was time to finally let someone in.

"R-Rachel…I-I'm gay."

There were arms around him before he had even finished. She was already shushing his tears before they started flowing. She had a comforting retort for every insecurity that tumbled out after.

"_I-I just don't know what t-to do." "You don't have to do anything, Blaine. We'll get through it together."_

"_They're going to hate me." "You don't need them. You have me now and I know you'll have Kurt too. It's they're loss, Blaine. You're perfect, Blaine. If they can't see that then that's their problem."_

"_Why is this so hard?" "I don't know, Blainers but I promise to try to make it easier. I'll do anything for you. I love you, Blaine."_


	5. Before the Lobotomy

**A/N: So this chapter looks a little different from the others. It's basically giving the back ground of Rachel and Blaine's upbringing. It's definitely not one of my favorite chapters (which is weird b/c I really like this song) but I think it fulfills its purpose. Your thoughts are always welcome!  
Lessthanthree  
Katie**

**Warnings: **homophobic slurs

**Song Link: ** www {.} youtube {.} com/watch?v=2cYcbAzsLD8&feature=relmfu

**POV: **Rachel / Blaine

_Chapter 5 : Before the Lobotomy_

Rachel held the distressed boy in her arms tightly. Blaine's head had been buried in her chest for over an hour and although the sobbing and pleading had petered out some time ago, the boy's body was still tense and shook with anxiety and fear. Rachel knew he was in no fit state to return to the cruel world that had driven him to this distraught state any time soon and so she held him snuggly, trying her best to convey to him that he was finally safe and he would not be abandoned.

A lullaby appeared on Rachel's lips. It was a melody that she had thought was lost in the depths of her mind. There were a lot of memories that were lost in the dark crevasses, pushed deeper and deeper so they would not resurface and taunt her. It seemed that the map to the gentle melody had not been misplaced though and deciphering its legend was simple during a time when she needed it most. She remembered her mother would sing it to her when she was young and couldn't sleep. Her mother had remembered it from her own childhood. It was always a source of comfort for Rachel to hear a gentle hum of words soothing her to sleep, assuring her that there was always someone there to love her and watch over her.

Singing softly to Blaine now reminded her of all the times when they were younger and he had padded down the hall in the dead of night, awoken jarringly by a nightmare and seeking comfort. He would always stop at the door before the master bedroom, the door with a princess pink name tag reading '_Rachel_'. By the time Blaine was three, her brother had learned that his big sister was the best person to turn to in times of need. At barely seven years old, Rachel would scoot over and allow her baby brother and his teddy bear to climb into bed with her and snuggle into her while she dried his tears and sang the song her mother had sung to her before work and social image had become more important, before the drinking started.

Before Blaine had been born, Mrs. Anderberry had been a stay at home mom while her husband had worked under his father, the founder of Anderberry Estates, a real-estate developing company that took off in the Midwest and was quickly spreading elsewhere. Shortly after Blaine's birth, their grandfather passed away of lung cancer and their father took over as head of the company. By the time Rachel was in her teens she had managed to uncover why there was such a change in the family dynamic after her grandfather's death.

Their father grew up in privilege. He never had to try too hard at anything really because he knew that he always had a career waiting for him at Anderberry Estates. He had always felt entitled to it and the money that poured from the ever growing account list. He was lazy and incapable of finding useful solutions to even the most mundane of everyday problems. He simply expected everything to be handed to him on a silver platter of which he would never be responsible for polishing.

He was smart and cunning which enabled him to uphold a reasonable standing as an employee but once he was the one in charge, responsible for buying and selling and organizing, he was at a loss. His incapability really began to show when the market started to fall and the company took a turn for the worse. With the draught that hit their endless wealth pool, Mrs. Anderberry decided to open up a business of her own in order to bring in cash from elsewhere. Neither of them had the brains to see that in a poor economy, nobody in Ohio was looking to throw an extravagant party in which she could plan for them at an outrageous fee. By the time Rachel was fifteen her parents had found their footing again but at the expense of their children who could no longer count on them to be present, attentive, supportive, and at times, sober.

The worst part of this dysfunction was their father's persistence that Rachel and Blaine both join the company. He always reasoned something along the lines of '_keeping it in the family_'. Rachel, on the other hand, formed two different opinions of her own. The first being, her father had recognized that both her and her little brother were more motivated and capable people than himself and could potentially restore the company to its former glory. The second, her father was miserable there because he was in over his head and wanting his children to suffer the same fate in life that he did, he saw employment there as the perfect solution since neither wanted it for themselves. Rachel never came to a decisive conclusion upon which scenario best described her father's drunken mind state. Sometimes she thought it could very well be a combination.

Before Kurt came into the rocky picture, that's all the family had been, a treacherous path just waiting for the rock slide to hit. It wasn't until Rachel brought the flamboyant, outspoken boy home after school that the first of many of these successive boulders was tipped over the jagged edge. At fourteen both Rachel and her younger brother learned of their father's homophobia. The man had made a point of uninviting Kurt for dinner and proceeding to refer to him as '_the lady boy_' to his face and '_the little faggot_' behind his back. If Mr. Anderberry was home, Kurt was not permitted in the house. They could get away with it if only Mrs. Anderberry was present but he remained unwelcomed and Rachel often suggested they go elsewhere so as to not put Kurt in an uncomfortable position.

Mr. Anderberry was always strict. Before Kurt though, Rachel had been willing to try and see it his way. The way he treated her best friend though seemed to be her breaking point and no longer would Rachel back down without a fight. The once silent house was riddled with shouting nearly nightly. The more and more time Rachel spent with Kurt, the more she fought her father and the harder he came down on her about school and her future career at his office. He pulled her out of the leading role in a community production of West Side Story because she got a B on a math test. After attending ballet class for eleven years, he ripped that out from under her as well because he found out Kurt was also taking the class. There was never allowance for any discussion of other paths that her life may take. In her father's eyes, Rachel was destined to work beneath him. Rachel always saw the devil in those eyes.

As Rachel steadily morphed into the token family disappointment, the Anderberry's groomed Blaine to be their shining star, the poster child of country club folk everywhere. Blaine grew up terrified of the screaming matches his father and sister would get into. He suspected that the only thing preventing the escalation into something physical was the fact that Rachel was female. Blaine was sure that if he were the one standing Rachel's ballet flats, he would be sporting a black eye before he could even open his mouth. This unsettling thought and the knowledge of what their parents were saying about Rachel behind her back made him vow to himself to remain their precious little, neglected angel for all of eternity.

In his preteen years, Blaine began to distance himself from his older sister. He was scared to be detested by association but also scared by her new friend Kurt. Kurt was kind and fun to be around but being in Kurt's presence stirred that monster inside of him. He then started distancing himself from his friends at school when he began to notice that they stirred that monster too. He knew what his father thought of Kurt and people like Kurt. Blaine didn't want to be one of them. He didn't want to be dirty, and perverted, and a waste of human life. Blaine's world was soon wrought with loneliness and seclusion. He quickly dove himself into his studies to please his ever demanding father and to distract from the turmoil in his head and his lack of outlet for it.

The whirlpool dragging Blaine under spiraled even faster once Rachel had run away. Everything became more intense. His father yelled louder and demanded more. He was older, entering his mid-teens and his attraction to other boys was increasingly harder to ignore. The consequences of which, terrified him. The despairing feeling that he had no one to turn to grew now that there was physically no one occupying the room down the hall. He spiraled inwards and down until by the time he graduated high school he felt like nothing more than a lonesome speck worthy of nothing more than clawing for attention and affection he would never receive.

He never wanted to be lost to the stormy seas of his broken mind but he could only fight the waves for so long. Wrapped currently in his sister's comforting and grounding arms, listening to her soft whispers of a tune from a happier time, Blaine could finally see a life raft capable of rescuing him from drowning. He held tight, scared of letting it ever slip from his tear blurred sight again.


	6. Christian's Inferno

**A/N: So I will be honest in that I decided on the events for this chapter based solely on the two words that make up the chorus to this song and the menacing vibe it gives off. So if it's totally off with the rest of the lyrics, I apologise. **

**Warnings: **rape

**Song Link: ** www {.} youtube {.} com/watch?v=ZBtlesZBppo&feature=relmfu

**POV: **Kurt

_Chapter 6 : Christian's Inferno_

It had been a few days since Rachel had brought Blaine home from the hospital and while Kurt was happy to help, he found himself more in the way than anything else. There was an awkward air about the small apartment and when mixed with the permanent stagnant heat hovering in every room, it became almost toxic to breathe.

Kurt was too afraid of overstepping and crushing the delicate situation that he knew the three of them were existing in that he stayed quiet and implemented a speak when spoken to mind set. Rachel had still yet to tell him about her moonlighting gig and neither of the siblings had mentioned the cause of the attack or the meaning behind it. Rachel had simply excused it as '_a case of the wrong place at the wrong time_.' Kurt knew they were speaking behind the closed bedroom door and he was happy that they were able to confide in each other but it left him feeling immensely unwelcome. It almost took him back to the atmosphere inside the Anderberry home in Lima.

The tense situation was made even worse when he was banished from the couch to the floor. He had been the one to offer the arrangement knowing that Blaine would need the bed as he heeled and Rachel should get the couch being the girl. He knew it was the right thing to do but after six restless nights of becoming acquainted with the unrelenting floor, he began to dream of the day when he could return to the couch and he despised that couch. The lack of sleep increased his stress level a tenfold which was certainly far from ideal when surrounded by people close to their breaking point.

The uncomfortable floor awoke him early, if he had if fact been asleep at all. The floor was no place to lay and bask in the quiet of the sleepy morning, not that the morning was that quiet and sleepy to begin with. The harsh dawn sun pierced glaringly through the uncovered glass and into his tired eyes. No lullaby could supress Rachel's snoring on the couch beside him, clanging alongside the noise from the bustling city ringing in through the open windows left wide in attempt to combat the sweltering heat. Kurt always hoped a fresh breeze would float in and bringing with it some new life and hope and energy.

It was Monday today. That meant he was closing the shop alone tonight and didn't begin his shift until the late afternoon. This would be his fourth night closing alone and he was actually beginning to like this shift the best. Sometimes he missed the company of other employees but being able to work at his own pace and not have to confirm every minor detail with someone else was nice. He didn't really have to think in those few hours. He didn't have to come up with small talk and analyse his every word before it left his lips in order to make sure no one would be offended or upset. He could pretend his life was in control and not threatening to crumble at any moment. He could pretend to be a graduate student, working on some respectable degree with a scholarship instead of a full time barista, living paycheck to paycheck on the brink of having nothing.

Being that he didn't work till the afternoon, Kurt set about having a lazy morning as his roommate and their patient slept. He needed a shower before work but that could be done later and seeing as the pipes rattled, it was best to leave it for when everybody was awake so as not to pull anyone from their much needed escape. Kurt usually used the shrill chill of the icy water pelting his skin to fully alert him to his surrounding for the day but for now, a cup of tea would have to do.

Tea had become somewhat of a staple to his daily life. Coffee was too expensive and spending the majority of his life in a small shop that smelt so strongly of the exotic bean, his stomach simply turned at the thought of actually consuming it. Tea had substituted well though for his high school fix. It was still warm and soothing so Kurt didn't resent the switch too much.

Groggily, shuffling his way to the kitchen after folding up the blanket he was sleeping on and placing it and his pillow out of the way, Kurt put the kettle on to boil. He then made his way quietly to the rickety book shelf in the living room that he and Rachel had found on the side of the road to grab a book. He smiled at the sound of Rachel's snores as he passed. Now that he was up, Kurt could appreciate the rumble as another familiar and somewhat comforting staple in his life.

He pulled '_The Deathly Hallows'_ off the shelf and headed back to the kitchen. Kurt was by no means a '_Potter Head_' but he enjoyed the books and they were the only ones he actually owned. Since entertainment was lacking with no internet connection, re-reading the magical tales on something that resembled a rotation, had kept him from staring blankly at a wall that desperately needed paint. Kurt was currently almost through the seventh and final book so in a few days he would begin the cycle again for the twenty sixth time in five years. He kept track.

Just reaching the part in the epic tale where the recounting, told by the estranged brother, of Dumbledore's life and, how Kurt concluded, he was manipulated into delving into dark forces by a forbidden affection to the neighbour's nephew when stirrings from down the hall could be heard over the snoring girl. He looked up to see Blaine carefully making his way to the kitchen. It surprised Kurt to see the other boy out of bed; movement was still painful judging by the distress in the younger boy's face and his slight wincing as the patient took the seat beside him.

"_Mornin',_" Blaine panted out. His breathing was obviously still hindered by the broken ribs.

"_Hi. You're up early._" Their voices were quite so as not to disturb Rachel. She had come in late last night and they both knew she could use the rest.

"_Yeah, well usually I'm awake at this time, haven't been sleeping well. It's getting less painful though so I thought the walk to the kitchen seemed manageable._" His reply was dull.

"_I hear you with the lack of sleep. If the sun doesn't stir me, it's the ache in my back._" The insignificant small talk had commenced for the day. "_Did you want some tea?_"

"_That'd be great, thanks. With lots sugar, please._"

There was a lull in the conversation as Kurt got up to pour Blaine a mug and add the requested sweetener. He smiled to himself as he added a third tablespoon of the white crystals to the steaming liquid. He had seen Blaine prepare a mug before and knew how he liked it; extremely sweet and childlike. He turned back to Blaine as he brought the hot mug to the table to see the boy had picked up his book and was regarding it with some sort of awe and deep loss. "_Re-reading, I presume,_" Blaine spoke as he noticed Kurt's return.

"_Yeah. I could probably recite them by heart to be honest._"

"_I haven't read these in a long time. Dad took them away. He thought I should be concentrating on school and said that they were stories for silly kids._" Kurt detected a longing in his voice.

"_Well I've got'em all. You're more than welcome to borrow'em. I also happen to think that there's nothing wrong with indulging your inner child. No one needs to grow up too fast. _" Blaine smiled at him before handing the book back and carefully picking up his mug, blowing soundly on its steaming contents so as not to burn his tongue.

* * *

It was ten minutes until closing when Kurt heard the bell on the door jingle. He had started cleaning up early as he had every other night because Jimmy had definitely been right about Monday's being slow. He had been organizing the cooler under the counter when the customer came. Looking up from his task though, Kurt realized it wasn't a customer after all but the manager himself.

"_Hey Mr. Jessup, what brings you by?_"

"_I've told you before, Kurt, it's Jimmy,_" the manager replied.

"_Right._"

"_No, no, I want to hear you say it, Kurt._" There was something odd about the other man's tone. Kurt tried to ignore the uneasy shiver that shot up his spine. The man was just being friendly, that's all.

"_Oh, um well is there anything I can do for you, Jimmy?_" Kurt could hear the quiver in his own voice and swallowed hard. He didn't know what had started racing through his head but for some reason, being alone in the shop with Jimmy seemed a little eerie.

"_There, that's better. And no, no I just thought I'd check up on you. Are you doing okay by yourself?_"

"_Yeah, I'm doing fine. It's been dead for a few hours so I'll be done cleaning by closing. Did you want me to make you something before you head out?_"

"_That's very kind of you, Kurt but no I believe I'm alright. I'm just going to take care of a few things in the office. Let me know when you're leaving._"

"_Sure._"

Kurt kept an eye on the man as he disappeared into the back before he continued with his work. He finished quickly, a combination of being almost complete and an intangible nervousness that had crept over him. It reminded him of the night a month ago when he had followed Rachel into one of the rougher parts of the city. He had all intentions to just grab his coat and call out his goodbyes once he already had a foot out the door but unfortunately he had to pass the office in order to collect it. Kurt shrugged off the feeling that maybe Rachel had been on to something when she had accused Jimmy of being creepy. Honestly, Kurt had never noticed anything unsettling before and so he pushed it away, conjuring it up to an overactive imagination and walked into the back area of the coffee shop to say goodnight.

"_I'm finished so I'm going to take off now,_" he spoke quickly after he knocked politely on the open door.

"_You're not in a hurry are you, Kurt? I thought we could have a drink or something. Why don't you come back to my place, I've got quite the selection of alcohol there._"

"_I-I actually am in a h-hurry. My roommate's brother is staying with us and I wouldn't want to be a poor h-host._" He had tried to sound cheery and unsuspecting but he was beginning to think that maybe all those casting directors were right, maybe he couldn't act. "_I'll have to pass but thank-you. Goodnight._"

He had turned out of the room and headed for the employee cubbies before there was a chance for the manager to respond. Kurt didn't get very far though when he felt a hand grab his wrist and that was the precise moment when he knew. He knew what was about to happen. There was no way to deny it. His mind had run out of innocent explanations.

Kurt tried to jerk free. He tried to kick and punch and reason but the man before him always seemed a step ahead and if was being honest, no person with a mindset to rape was a candidate for thoughtful discussion. Within seconds, Kurt had been dragged back into the office and shoved to his knees on the floor. He had his head down, scared to actually look his predator in the eye, thinking that it would somehow keep him safe and prevent the inevitable.

Thick fingers curled into his hair, caressing his head, petting him in a sick way. They played for a while. Perhaps the man thought he was fooling his prey into thinking there was some real affection present. Kurt could see no affection though. He could hardly see anything past the fear building within him. The fear had consumed him at this point. It blocked all ability to run or scream or fight. His body literally shook with it. Maybe his capture knew what he was doing all along.

The fingers were suddenly tightened and yanked his head back, forcing Kurt's eyes up and exposing his mouth. The man's other filthy hand crept to the front of his own ratty blue jeans, unbuttoning and unzipping them presumably for Kurt's pleasure. He was making quite a show of it and Kurt could only hope it would continue forever. At least then an image would only be burned to his eyes instead of a feeling into his body mind and soul.

It didn't though and all too soon was the revolting length shoved into his face. It was rubbed over him, leaked pre-cum on his skin, while things like '_pretty little fag_' and '_slut_' and '_beautiful_' and '_disgusting whore_' were whispered to him from above. Kurt noticed though that as his mouth was forced open and his nose was pushed into the nauseating, course pubic hair that his mind seemed to wander, to detach itself, to escape. He couldn't feel his body anymore. It was like he was floating, simply observing the horrific attack as somebody else.

When tears started flowing it was for the poor soul on his knees having his body taken from him. The tears were not for himself. When he vomited it was because he was paying witness to one of humanities greatest crimes, not because of the revolting pre-cum coating his own throat and stimulation of his gag reflex. When he shouted it was to cry out to the previously untouched boy now exposed and bent over a desk, to let him know he was not alone. It was not because of the pain coursing through his own flesh as his body was ripped in two by the intrusive length soaked in his own saliva.


	7. Last Night on Earth

**Song Link: ** www {.} youtube {.} com/watch?v=-7vjJYco7hM&feature=relmfu

**POV: **Kurt / Blaine

_Chapter 7 : Last Night on Earth_

He walked out of the dark and quiet shop hours after he had intended. He limped in agony, cringing at the liquid seeping from between his legs. It trickled down the inside of his thighs, no doubt staining his pants, imprinting them permanently. Whether it be his attacker's seed, his own blood, or a mixture of both, Kurt could not be sure. He tried not think about it. His stomach churned and threatened spill once more when he did.

He had lain, curled up into his own stolen body for an eternity after Mr. Jessup had finished with him and left. Kurt had collapsed to the floor as soon as the greedy hands had released his flesh from their ferocious furry. His mind had begun to return to his body then. He recalled the brutal rough ply of a boot on his exposed and used backside, eyes of the devil taking in the sight on his victory, before the menacing voice returned to the tainted air.

"_You need this job Kurtie. I know you do and I know your little brunette friend does as well. I would hate to have to let you go because of a little misunderstanding. Now, you're a smart lad there, Kurtie. You understand what I'm saying. I'll take your silence as a yes. Well I'll be off but I'm sure we'll see each other very shortly. Goodnight my Kurtie._"

After the heavy footsteps had retreated and the bell to the front door of the shop had jingled joyfully, Kurt had remained where he was. Getting home was just too much at that moment. It barely even registered that home was a place he had to get to. All he could process was the ache in his backside that lay bare to the room and that thought simply escaladed the violent sobs and shakes to where even covering himself up was physically impossible.

Once Kurt was finally able to take back control of his limbs, he stood slowly, crying out as the pain shot through him in almost the same manner as before. He kept going though. He needed to get home to that grungy little apartment where everything was safe. He pulled his pants up and refastened them before making his way to the employee cubbies to grab his coat and then finally out the front door, the bell ringing him out as he turned the lock.

The closer Kurt got the second story walk up, to his best friend and her little brother, to the familiarity of the past five years, the more unsure he became. One cannot simply walk back into a childhood dream after being ripped from any innocence they had left. No matter how tattered that dream had become, no matter how many evil witches had hoodwinked him with a poison apple or how many dragons had breathed fire in his wake, he had still been able to turn the next page. Each setback, each past due notice, each failed audition, each cold shower had been just that, a setback. They all fit snuggly into his fairy tale, into that part of the story arc full of struggle before the triumphant climax where he, the hero, would finally see his coronation. None of them had ever seduced him out of the safety of a children's fable until now. Rachel's moonlighting gig had come close but it was her, not him, and even making that comparison would be a crime. It simply wasn't as easy as just turning the next page now because now he didn't recognize the print and with each step he took closer to home, it was as if his heavy gate weighed down the page preventing him from flipping it and carrying on.

If he couldn't carry on though, Kurt certainly did not want to stay where he was. Where he stood was terrifying and dirty and invasive and cold and cruel. His mind spun trying to keep it all straight and keep his organs functioning. Kurt knew it couldn't go on like that indefinitely though so why not just give up? Why not take the next left and head for the bridge suspended over the icy river? Why not take the next right and head for the bustle of Times Square and simple step into traffic. His body was already in agony, feeling ripped in two, why not finish it off? It couldn't hurt worse and his mind would finally be at peace.

The intersection was upon him quickly and Kurt took that right. A life fed on a washed up Broadway dream deserved to end on the street itself, to get its headline under the lights and marquees. His pace quickened. It was no longer restrained by the hopeless inability to return home. There was a new destination now and one that would rid him of all the pain and disgust instantly. That monster was right. He needed that job, as did Rachel, but he could not endure that torture on a weekly basis. This was the only way to make it all go away, to separate himself from the horror, from his used and damaged body. It didn't even feel like his anymore. While his hole clenched desperately to ease the gape and the thick and sticky cum, laced with blood still dripped, while the bruises on his arms and hips, imprints of the unwelcome hand he could still feel remained, it would never be his.

Almost as if the muscles and bones beneath his pale skin, still ghostly from the attack, had heard his thoughts and were taunting him, they took the next right at the end of the block. They did it again and again, once more until he had walked in a circle and was pointing towards home again. He couldn't seem to stop them either and all too soon he was opening the front door to the one bedroom apartment and stepping into the living room where Blaine was watching 'The Little Mermaid' on Rachel's laptop.

"_There you are. A little late don't you think?_" The younger boy asked jokingly but there was a hint of required explanation in his tone.

"_Found our Disney collection, I see,_" Kurt replied, strategically changing the topic and the person of focus.

"_Yeah. I guess I missed these too. I'll finish it tomorrow though so you can go to bed. You might actually be able to sleep since I let Rachel have the bedroom tonight; hopefully the door can block some of her snoring._"

"_Umm, no, no, leave it on. I'm just going to change and then I'll come join you._" Maybe stripping his body of the evidence smeared on his pants and a little extreme trip back to his youth could fix this. It seemed to be working for Blaine.

"_Sure, I'd love some company._" Kurt could see that Blaine's smile was genuine and it broke his heart a little to know that Blaine had not the faintest idea of the filth that was to sit next to him shortly.

Blaine was relieved when he heard the rattle of keys in the door. It was just after two in the morning and Kurt's shift had ended at ten. Rachel had even made it home before him and Blaine had sent her to bed in the bedroom, insisting on waiting up for the other boy. He couldn't quite put a finger on why but his need to see that his sister's best friend home safely and even to spend time with him had grown since that morning's conversation over tea. The light that had shone through his blue eyes had been more brilliant than Blaine had ever remembered and the kind words were spoken with more truth and compassion than any he had heard in recent times.

When Kurt walked back into the living room, Blaine had expected him to sit on the other end of the couch but instead the older boy had snuggled carefully up into his side, wary of the broken ribs. He was slightly surprised by the lack of explanation for the late return and also by the physical closeness but he did not want to pry. Blaine had detected the deflection earlier and respected it. They had never really been close after all. Blaine had never really liked Kurt growing up. He had stolen his sister and escalated the rift in their family. He did not think Kurt particularly liked him either though because in the few weeks he had been staying in the apartment, his host had barely spoken three words to him, at least before that morning. He seemed just as arrogant and entitled as always.

Maybe Blaine had been too quick to judge though because after almost an hour of sitting in silence, quiet sobs could be heard coming from the boy beside him. A glance to his left confirmed this as Blaine was greeted with wet eyes, focused seemingly on the stagnant air hovering somewhere behind the computer monitor and not the screen itself.

The boy was rather quite stunning when he cried. The blue irises went turquoise and contrasted heavily with the bloodshot red that were now the whites of his eyes. His pale skin, usually flawless, spotted with flush making him look young and innocent and somewhat helpless. The sight tugged on Blaine and within several moments of quiet staring, his old opinion of the loud and entitled, selfish brat softened and transformed into someone who tried so hard to stand proud in order to hopefully fool his own insecurities into vanishing. And maybe he was reading too much into Kurt's tears but there was something inside of him telling Blaine that he wasn't. Almost as if something was clicking into place, something he had tried to hide away had finally found its way back. His disdain for the boy in growing up was never because of what he had done, it was because of who he was.

Blaine had always known Kurt was gay. The boy had never hid it, even around the Anderberry house. It frustrated Blaine to no end because he himself had yearned for that freedom but had never had the courage to fight for it. Kurt's glaring flamboyancy was seemingly rubbed in his face and the angelic beauty that graced his form made it increasingly difficult to hide from the truth. Kurt would make him blush and fluster at the most innocent conversation which had terrified him for fear of someone seeing and for fear of having to admit to himself that he did indeed have a crush on his older sister's best friend. The way in which his heart was currently beating blaringly against the inside of his chest made Blaine conclude that that school boy crush had yet to go away. And with this realization, the need to help the crying boy dry his tears surged.

"_Hey, what's wrong?_" Blaine whispered softly, his concerned voice barely audible over the movie and the city street below.

"_W-what? Oh, n-nothing, nothing,_" Kurt answered just as quietly as he hastily wiped the wet from his eyes. Blaine could tell that the other boy had been in some sort of trance and had momentarily forgotten his surroundings. The tears were obviously something he was not meant to see.

"_Would it have anything to do with why you were so late tonight?_" Blaine asked the question gently because he could see this was hard for Kurt but at the same time he needed to know. The response however, was a pleading look from the blue eyes but Blaine could not tell if the desperation behind them was for him to stop or keep going. He had a suspicion that Kurt didn't really know either so he continued but taking a different approach. "_I'll tell you a secret if you tell me yours._" He had no idea where he found the courage to say what he was about to. Maybe it was because he had an inkling that the other boy's secret was much bigger than his own. "_I'm gay and I'm pretty sure I have a crush on you._" Blaine was not sure if the pleading eyes he had received previously or the harsh sobs he was receiving now were better. He wrapped his good arm around the distraught boy doing his best to sooth but he honestly had no idea what to do.

"_Y-you don't want someone like m-me, Blaine._" He had almost missed the words all together; they were scarcely even there.

"_What? Kurt you're gorgeous and brave and smart and with the way Rachel talked about you growing up, you must be the most amazing friend. The fact that you stuck around for her even with all the crap our father gave you just proves how selfless you are._" He could hardly believe the praise that tumbled from his mouth. It was all true of course but it was a truth so buried that the ease in which it resurfaced took him aback.

"_No I'm not,_" Kurt managed to state firmly through his sobs.

"_Of course you are. Why would you think you weren't?_"

"_Because I'm disgusting and used._" This time Kurt actually yelled it at him.

"_Kurt, what does that even mean?_" Blaine thought it was just silly insecurities, something like a not perfectly toned stomach or a few pimples on his chin.

"_It means that the guy who owns the coffee shop raped me tonight. That's where I was, Blaine. Are you happy now?_" His words were harsh but there was little actual anger there and by the time he finished talking, he looked so small. Blaine felt the boy curl into his side tighter, hiding himself further from the world and Blaine just let him, simply because he did not know what else to do.

**A/N: Thoughts? I'd love to hear from you!  
Lessthanthree **


	8. East Jesus of Nowhere

**Song Link: ** www {.} youtube {.} com/watch?v=ruG01BF7EjY&feature=relmfu

**POV:** Kurt / Rachel

_Chapter 8 : East Jesus of Nowhere_

He sat for hours curled into Blaine's side. The younger boy held him as tight as he dared with his own injuries although few words were spoken. Kurt could understand. He passed no blame to his comforter for he himself would not know what to say if he were in the other's shoes and frankly in his current position, he could think of no words that anyone could say that would truly make it better. The only thing that could make it better was for it to have not happened at all and there was no such spell to reverse time.

Kurt held many thanks for the boy that remained at his side. There had been no excuse conjured about how sleep would ease all as a means of dismissal from duty. Blaine made no indication of any intention of leaving. In normal circumstances Kurt would have relieved him long ago for he knew it was the young boy's naivety that kept him there. Kurt would not be responsible for stealing that innocence. These were however far from normal circumstances and his own stores of purity had run dry. He so desperately needed to quench that thirst and so he let himself cling to the other boy through the night. As the dawn sun broke between the maze of buildings he again allowed the other to take lead, making no protest of accompaniment to the hospital.

Upon arrival at the emergency entrance, the dreaded feeling of exposure resurfaced. The other patients were too distracted by their own ailments to take notice but the various friends or family members that brought them in seemed quite curious of him considering there was no obvious reason for his presence. He felt ears on him as he checked in but thankfully all he had to tell the nurse at the desk was his name. The gory details were left to the form and the middle aged doctor, female upon request.

Kurt opted to face the exam alone and have Blaine wait in the hallway outside. He didn't need anyone else to literally see him exposed and vulnerable. The experience was what could only be described as brazen. The paper gown he was given in exchange for his clothes barely covered anything and was moved away far too easily for his liking. As he sat upon the exam table, the gown parted in the back and the paper sheet lying on top of the table rubbed roughly against his used skin. The paper crinkled with every slight movement and stuck to his skin never allowing him to forget where he was. The harsh fluorescent lights did a good job of keeping his mind present as well with the unrelenting way they shone into every nook and cranny that had previously been private.

Every word was spoken in a manner that was straight and to the point. It was about facts, not emotions. In some ways Kurt was glad of this. Reliving the attack would never allow this process to continue. In other ways though, Kurt found it unbelievably unsettling. The doctor was so professional but since when had a situation like this become something people were professional about. How many other stolen bodies had come through here? Since when had this become routine? How many young men and women had to have their bodies forcefully taken for them in order to get the formula down to a tee? A formula in which the complete separation of his mind and soul and being from his body was accomplished. The tear had begun the moment his mouth was forced open back in the coffee shop and it had finally torn through here on the exam table with every poke and prod and invasive question.

As Blaine guided him out of the hospital a few hours later, Kurt was sure his body would never feel like his own again. Half of it belonged to Mr. Jessup's twisted fantasies and the other half belonged to the hospital's records, statistics, and income. None of it belonged to the boy who had to live in it.

* * *

Rachel awoke with a start to the sound of the front door being shut. The room was still cool and the sun was not yet glaring into her eyes indicating the earliness of the hour. There was a curiosity as to why her roommates had left considering her brother still had trouble moving and Kurt had gotten in late and didn't work until the late afternoon. These questions however, quickly slipped her mind as the mattress, seemingly incredibly soft from the last six days on the couch, and the cocoon of blankets called her back to their depths. She would have to give it back to Blaine tonight and the thought of losing its comfort and safety as soon as she stepped out was enough to keep her there all day. It was enough to keep her there forever really, away from the reality that had become her life.

The club had been particularly bad the previous night. Two of the dancers had not shown up and so Rachel had been placed on the centre stage. She was still the newbie and was used to being tucked away in the corner of stage right. The standard attendance of the club was typically too low for anyone to sit near her or pay her too much attention. She lost a great deal in tips, which is why those with seniority got to dance in the centre, but Rachel was too focused on not losing her entire self-worth to care about having a few extra dollar bills slipped into her G-string.

As well as being front and centre, there was a rather rowdy bachelor party seated directly in front of her. They were always the worst. The regulars were usually quite calm. Their eyes would bore into her flesh but they would keep their perverted thoughts, the ones her practically naked body was fueling, to themselves. She could easily let her mind escape when they were quiet like that. The only time she would be brought back down to her revolting truth was when one of them had decided to call it a night and came to pay his disgraceful respects with a pittance of cash, a quick grope, and maybe a hint into his sick mind. As awful as it seems, Rachel always felt some sort of fondness for the regulars after nights when parties had been in.

The party patrons were loud and arrogant. They refused to just absorb their visual pleasure and be satisfied. The men, drunk on alcohol and their one free night, pushed every policy against touching and getting on stage and the amount of derogatory remarks that could be shouted throughout the building. It may have been a sleazy establishment but there were at least some arenas that it would not dip into. Or, at the very least, they claimed to not be willing to dip into. When Rachel actually thought about the previous night, all the men who had at one point or another been in violation of these rules were eventually and very casually told by the bouncers, sitting dunk at the bar, to tone their behaviour down. Within minutes though, the degrading and violating behaviour would begin again and no one had ever been escorted out. With each night she worked, it seemed to become clearer and clearer that it was not only the patrons that had no respect for the dancers but the owner of the club as well.

The thought was very uncomforting. There was no one looking out for her and yet there was no one to blame for that but herself. She was the dancing for money. It was with her own will that men throughout the city could now use her body as wank material. It made her skin crawl in a way it never had before. She just didn't feel like herself anymore.

She drifted in and out of a restless sleep for the rest of the morning. Her eyes filled with tears whenever they were open. She would have stayed there all day had the boys not come home, startling her awake. Rachel quickly rubbed her eyes free and sleep and her cheeks of tear tracks as best she could before pulling on some sweats and an oversized t-shirt and making her way out of the bedroom.

The first thing she saw was Kurt curled in on himself on the couch. She had been expecting some teasing remark about how lazy she was but he just stared blankly ahead, seemingly unaware of her presence. Even with the unfocus in his eyes, they still managed to look scared. His fingers were lightly rubbing his knee caps and Rachel suspected that the slight movement was the only thing that was preventing his body from shaking.

She was about to approach him with concern when she jumped at a crash from the kitchen and a mumbled curse from her brother. Upon investigation, Rachel let out sigh of relief to see that Blaine had only managed to drop the tea canister.

"_I got it,_" she said hastily seeing the pain and frustration on his face as he tried to get it himself.

"_Thanks._" The reply was dull.

"_Making tea?_" It was a lame attempt at conversation but seeing as Blaine had been out with Kurt that morning, maybe he would know what was wrong and getting him talking was the first step.

"_Yeah. You want some?_" The invitation was of politeness and nothing more.

"_Sure. Thanks._" There was no reply. Blaine simply pulled a third mug from the cupboard and went back to ignoring her. "_Is Kurt okay? He looks a little out of it. It's kinda spooky_." It was spooky. Even at the mention of his name, the boy on the couch had yet to move or acknowledge his surroundings and there was no way he would not have heard.

"_No, he's not,_" her brother replied softly. There was a crack in his voice and upon hearing it Rachel turned away from Kurt and walk quickly to Blaine making him face her. There were tears in his eyes. His lip was trembling. It looked like he wanted to say more but the words were lost in their own severity.

"_Blaine, what happened? What's wrong?_" She asked firmly. The tears started to flow from his eyes. Rachel carefully wrapped her arms around him not knowing what else to do. "_Blaine, you have to tell me._" She could feel him shake his head slightly into her shoulder. "_Should I ask him?_" She suggested softly.

"_No, no don't. I don't know if he can yet._" Blaine's voice trembled as he spoke

"_If he can what?_" Blaine was just silent. Rachel could tell he was searching for words but she didn't know how to help him along because she honestly had no idea what was going on. It was kind of scaring her. It was obviously serious and her mind was jumping to places it should never go. Kurt needed help and she could not provide it if she was going in blind. "_Blaine, we have work in an hour. He can't go like this and I need to know what happened if I can be of any help._"

"_No!_" Blaine basically shouted the single word at her. He pulled back from the hug, grabbing her shoulders and looking her in the eye. "_You can't go to work, Rachel. You can't go back there._" Rachel was really starting to worry now.

"_Why? Blaine, what happened?_" Her voice was only whisper. She was scared of the answer but at this point she could guess what it was.

"_Your boss, he, Rach, he rapped him._"

"_What? Oh my god._" At this point it wasn't a surprise but the reaction was instinctive.

"_Last night. After his shift. He told me last night when he got home and after sitting with him all night, I took him to the hospital this morning. He almost looks more broken now though and I don't know what to do. He hasn't said anything and I just…What are we supposed to do?_"

"_I-I don't know. I always thought that guy was creepy but this...? _" It startled Rachel how hopeless her voice sounded.

"_I'm going to bring him his tea. I was going to put some Disney movies on. He seemed interested in them last night. It seems kinda stupid but I don't know what else to do._"

"_Okay. Wait, Blaine. Did you go to the police? Does his father know?_"

"_No. I don't think he's ready for either._" The disappointment must have shown on her face because Blaine quickly continued. "_Please don't push him, Rach. It's his choice and he must be going through hell. You can't even bring yourself to tell him about your dancing job so just let it be for a while._"

"_No, you're right. I'll leave it. Here, I'll take the mugs. You go set up the movie._"

"_Kay._"

Rachel followed Blaine back out to the living room, carefully balancing the three mugs of hot liquid doctored accordingly, milk for her and Kurt and a ridiculous amount of sugar for Blaine. She place two of them down gently on the make shift, ply wood coffee table and held the third out for the boy still curled in on himself. Their apartment was small and Kurt had no doubt heard the conversation in the kitchen but with the glazed over look in his eyes, Rachel was unsure of how much of his surroundings he was actually taking in. She notice that the blue eyes shifted to focus on the mug instead of the empty stuffy air. They glanced tentatively towards her before darting away, obviously avoiding eye contact. Nevertheless, a shaky hand untangled itself from around the hunched body and reached out to grasp the mug. His grip was so weak that Rachel was almost afraid to let go of the blue ceramic. She kept a close watch on Kurt though as she settled next to him, ready to catch the mug if it started to slip. That was about the only thing she knew how to do at this point. She wanted to be there for him so bad, to hold him like he had held her all those time in high school, to be a listening ear so some of the burden could be transferred to her. She didn't know how to accomplish any of that though when the boy sitting beside her would not even look up from the steeping liquid in his hands.

A/N: Thoughts so far? Reviews mean a lot to me so don't hesitate!


	9. Peacemaker

**Song Link: ** www {.} youtube {.} com/watch?v=JmAA1C8tlv8&feature=relmfu

**POV: **Rachel

_Chapter 9 : Peacemaker_

"_Ooh, I love this song!_" Blaine had sprung to the edge of his seat, eyes wide and bright before wincing and grabbing his chest. "_Too much movement,_" he groaned. Rachel would have laughed at him but she did not want to disturb the other boy who had finally fallen asleep on her shoulder.

"_No more singing. I think he's asleep,_" she informed her brother quietly. "_Maybe you should head to bed too. You look tired._" Despite his eyes being attentively glued to the screen, Rachel knew he was exhausted. She could see the bags forming dark circles under his eyes even in the dimly light room and had listened to him yawn every minute or so for the past hour.

"_It's barely seven._" Another yawn came out with the words.

"_You've been up for over twenty-four hours. I'm surprised either of you lasted this long._" Well that was a lie. Rachel had almost been expecting Kurt to be up all night again. Who knew what demons had crawled into his head preventing him from finding peace. Her mind had plenty of its own and yet none of them could compare with what may be lurking around every corner of his.

"_Are you sure you're okay with him?_"

"_Yeah, I'll just let him sleep and probably nod off myself in a bit._" She smiled fondly at the sleeping boy. He looked the same as he always had, same soft, pale skin, same rosy cheeks, same auburn hair all ruffled from shifting against her. Even his eyes lids twitched lightly in the same manner they always had when he was asleep. It could have simply been any old Tuesday movie night.

"_Okay. Hey Rach, I know you guys are going to be worried about money now so maybe you could reconsider my offer. I'll extend it to Kurt too. It's really no big deal._" His voice was soft and careful. At least he knew this was a touchy topic. During his hospital stay Blaine had offered to give her some money so she could quit dancing. She still didn't like the idea of it. Living off her brother's money, money that was essentially her father's, was not how she wanted her life to look. That's why she ran in the first place. She also knew Kurt would never accept the offer if he could see another way and that other way only had to be a scarcely marked path through the dense underbrush. She had always admired Kurt's ability to proceed without a yellow brick road laid out for him.

"_I'll think about it, Blaine._"

"_It'd really be the least I could do and you know, a bit of a way to get back at mom and dad._" They chuckled lightly at that before Blaine leaned over and kissed her cheek goodnight. She caught his soft lingering gaze on the boy curled up beside her before he departed slowly towards the bedroom but decided it was best to ignore it for now.

When Rachel awoke the next morning she found herself alone on the couch with a blanket draped lightly over her frame. Her momentary panic at the loss of the boy who had been next to her was calmed by the soft murmur of voices from the kitchen. She strained to hear the words but could not for their voices were low, no doubt in attempt to not disturb her from slumber. She figured it was a good thing to simply be hearing his voice no matter what the topic of converse was.

She got up and got dressed quickly. She had made a decision last night and with the boys seemingly doing a decent job of looking after each other, now seemed to be the best opportunity. Rachel could no longer deny the emotional turmoil that her moonlighting gig was causing and it seemed wrong to continue down that slow but sure road of destruction after Kurt had been devastated in a single night. It seemed like nothing less than betrayal. So, after stealing a piece of toast from her brother and a quick goodbye to them both, currently in deep discussion over a wizard born to a life of burden, Rachel made her way out the door and headed off to the sketchy club in the sketchy area to turn in her dancing shoes. She chuckled darkly at the thought; the dancer's costumes didn't even consist of shoes in the first place.

It was just before eleven when she arrived. The stage door opened right into the dressing rooms and by the dark cloud of poisonous Tabaco that greeted her, Rachel gathered that most of the girls who worked the afternoon shift were already there. Braving the toxic building like so many times before, Rachel stepped forth into the dimly lit room and weaved her way through the girls and chairs and costume racks, headed for the back office. The room was rather subdued considering it was full of females putting on makeup and costumes. It was always like that though. It was one of those things that broke her fantasy of it being a real performance on a real Broadway stage. If it was real, the cast would be pumping each other up and cheering and laughing and absorbing every minute of joy that they could from the experience. Here though, everyone kept to themselves, desperately trying to forget where they were and what they were doing and what purpose they were doing it for. It livened up a bit after shifts, everyone happy it was finished, but only a bit.

"_Come in,_" she heard called from the other side of the office door, along with some giggling and quick shuffles, after she knocked. She opened the door slowly, fearful of what she had interrupted. Her fears were reasonable considering a dancer, already dressed in costume, or undressed, sauntered out of the door leaving Mr. Branson sitting smug in his desk chair with red lip stick smeared across his chapped and cracking lips and down his unshaven jaw. His dress shirt, which surprised Rachel to see him wearing something so professional, was unbuttoned most of the way down revealing a low cut, yellow stained wife beater that displayed too much of his course, black chest hair for anybody's liking. "_Miss Berry, what brings you in? If you're looking for extra cash I'm afraid the afternoon shift is full but if you hop on up on my lap we might be able to sort something out,_" he managed to smirk out through his yellow teeth before needing a drink of the poisonous tar dripping from the cigarette perched between his dirty fingers.

"_Um, no I'm fine sir. I actually came to inform you that I will be departing your place of employment indefinitely but I would like to thank you for the opportunity._" She spit the well-rehearsed words out quickly hoping to be out of the building as soon as possible.

"_Now hold on a minute there sweetheart. When I hired you, I was under the impression that you were going to be here for a while. I wasn't really sure about you because, you know, your tits are small and your nose is big, not to mention your thighs and those short little legs don't help anything. I made an exception for you because you practically begged to be able to shake your bare ass on my stage in front of drunk and horny men. I did you a favour so I think I deserve a little bit more respect from you._" He spoke slowly, letting his cutting words dig into her. His dark eyes were locked on her chest the entire time, never meeting hers like he would if he were talking to a real person and not just some piece of meat. It reminded her of the men in the audience but at least the stage created a sort of barrier there. He seemed so close, too close. It made her squirm.

'_I, uh, I apologise for putting you in that position sir. I never meant to be disrespectful and I do greatly appreciate the job you gave me. I did really need the money but I no longer require it and I don't really think I'm suited for this career path._"

"_Now, now, you don't really think it's going to be that easy do you? That you can just walk out that door and leave me hanging? That's not how I operate my business see. This isn't a revolving door of girls. Once you're in, you're in unless of course you're willing to pay the leaving fee but I just can't see such a good girl like you, with your big, polite words doing so._" Rachel really did not like where this was going. She just wanted to go back to the apartment, close the door behind her and lock it tight on this chapter of her life but with Kurt fresh in her mind, Rachel was starting to fear that she would never see home again.

"_W-what would this fee be?_"

"_Well I still need you tonight. You can't possibly expect me to find a replacement on such short notice, even someone as mediocre as you are. Hang around after your shift. Once all the others have gone, come wait in my office. I'll leave you something a little less prudish to change into._" He raked his greedy eyes over her clothes as if he could melt them off with that simple thought. His right foot stretched out and connected the inside of her calf, stroking it up and down.

"_A-and if I just walk out now and n-never come back?_" Her eyes were glued to his foot, willing it to leave her body.

"_Oh sweetheart, Mickey's going to watch over you until your shift. You're not going anywhere until I've gotten my fair share._" At the sound of his name, one of the bouncers entered the small office and placed one of his strong and large hands on her shoulder. There was no running. Why had she come in the first place? Why didn't she just never show up? A small nod indicating their dismissal was given from Mr. Branson and the hand tightened around her shoulder, escorting her out of the small office. Rachel could not help the tears at this point and they slowly trickled down her cheek as her mind fell helplessly blank.

She ended up being sat at the bar, a bouncer on either side. The club had opened at this point. It was fairly quiet but considering it was the middle of the day on a Wednesday, empty seats were to be expected. Despite all she had witnessed, Rachel still had some faith in society. She didn't know what to do with herself. She needed some distraction from her seemingly inevitable fate. It was too terrifying to face especially knowing she had hours for it to warp her mind. The bartender and the bouncers were talking but listening to her captors converse lightly as if they weren't holding a girl about to be raped was sickening. The men in the audience proved little better and so it was the dancers that finally won her attention.

Rachel soon found herself entranced by them. The sway of their hips seemed to erase the events that had transpired earlier. The blonde in the middle, with the piercing green eyes, was actually quite good. Rachel could only describe her movement, no matter how crude, as graceful. The girl happened to glance her way and Rachel recognized her from the first shift she had danced on. It was before Rachel had gone on and she was back stage trying desperately but to no avail make her costume cover more when she had overheard the girl asking Mr. Branson if she could have the afternoon shift instead on the evening. There was something about needing to be at home to take care of her daughter at night. At the time Rachel had thought little of it other than it was sad that this was the way a young mother had to support her daughter. Now, Rachel wondered if the poor girl had sat at this very stool.

Taking her eyes away from the girl's slim and yet oh-so-very-there hips, Rachel glanced up to see the emerald eyes were cast upon her. They held her contact but Rachel could not discern the reason. She figured the maybe she served as only a friendly face amongst a sea of foes. This thought that she was helping in some way made her feel better and she smiled lightly to the girl on stage. The blonde smiled back with a wink and Rachel ended up being the one who received her flying tie as clothes began to come off.

Her sudden movement to catch the silky fabric startled her captors. The burly body guard swung quickly around to face her to ensure that she wasn't making a run for the door and in to process knocked over a row of shots that the bartender had been pouring for a customer as well as his own drink. He must have spilt the alcohol on himself as well because he quickly dropped the lighter he had been fiddling with and jumped off his stool to survey the damage. The red lighter fell to the pool of flammable liquid and Rachel saw her escape.

Without hesitation she lunged for the lighter and in three clicks she managed to set the bar a blaze. A hand grabbed her roughly but another click had the sleeve of arm it was attached to, dowsed in flame. She was released instantly and before any others could tear themselves from the commotion, she ran.

**A/N: So I think this is my favorite chapter so far and it also marks the half-way point of the story. i hope your all still enjoying it. Let me know how your thoughts so far! **


	10. Last of the American Girls

**A/N: So this one is a little shorter (which is a little odd b/c this is one of my favorite songs from the album) but it felt done so I stopped writing. It's another Rachel chapter but there is a little klaine in there so I hope everyone hangs in there. Next chapter is all klaine and I think it's my favorite one so far. Anyways I hope you enjoy and feel free to leave me your thoughts!  
Lessthanthree**

Song Link: www {.} youtube {.} com/watch?v=nWZxpN8X0pM&feature=relmfu

**POV: **Rachel

_Chapter 10 : Last of the American Girls_

She ran. She ran straight for the door, past the bouncer standing outside before he even realised anyone had exited, and down the street. She ran as fast as she could and did not dare stop. It may have been her imagination but she was sure someone was running right behind her, chasing her, hunting her down and so she ran until she was through the front door of the apartment and then immediately closed and locked it tight behind her.

Panting, she leaned back against the solid wood. She needed that extra body weight pressing against the door, keeping it closed, keeping the bad out, keeping her safe. The probability that she had been followed was very slim but now was not the time to take any risks.

After taking a moment to catch her breath, Rachel opened her eyes for the first time since hearing the locks satisfying click. She had expected to find at least one pair of concerned eyes, if not two, peering back at her but there was no one there. She could see into the kitchen and the living room from where she stood and both of the rooms were deserted. Usually, her own concern would begin to build but there was too much relief coursing through here veins to allow any more worry in. There was relief that she never had to go back, relief that she had escaped, but mostly there was relief that she didn't have to explain anything and that she could cry without questions. She would not know how to be broken in front of Kurt when she had willingly put herself in that danger and then had the fortune to evade what terrible fate he had been captured in. She had no right to cry in his presence, ask for condolence from him or take his condolence, Blaine, away. So, she graciously accepted the time alone that she had been given to let it all out.

Trembling, Rachel crumbled to the floor. She sat, still pressed against the door with her knees pulled up, arms around them protectively, and her face buried in the tangle of limbs. The relief to be home was there but now that the survival instincts were beginning to where off, the realization of everything that had happened was starting to set in too. How could she have been so stupid to put herself in such a treacherous situation? How had she let it go on for so long? What would have happened if she had failed to escape? A violent shiver raked her at this. He would have raped her. There was no denying it. She would have ended up like Kurt, broken and stolen and lost for how to move forwards, how to live in a world that had condemned her to such a cruel fate, in a body that no longer belonged to her. It was terrifying and Rachel felt so ashamed for being this greatly effected when she had been able to run and Kurt had been trapped. She was no better than him. She acted like it sometimes but it was that attitude in fact that probably made him better than her. She could not stop the tears and the sobs and the shakes.

It took a long time for Rachel to feel stable enough to stand and walk away from the front door. It must have been an hour or so but when the calm finally settled it was as if a thick and heavy blanket had been laid over the fear and panic and insecurity and doubt, stifling it and allowing a new energy to fill her. If she crumbled, he won and Rachel was not going let that happen. She was going to walk away from this stronger and with a direction and a focus. Making her way down the hall towards the bathroom, it seemed an almost impossible feat. That fiery spirit she had once held in Lima had been lost from her heart in the overwhelming city for years. This was the first time in those long years though that she had felt the will to take it back.

It was then that she heard voices. They were soft, almost whispers, coming from the bedroom. There was music playing too and it was a tune she recognized from her childhood but could not quite place it. She approached the door cautiously, not wanting to disturb the boys but curious as to their activity. Her cheeks were still stained red with tear tracks that she wanted to rid her face of the evidence before anyone saw. The door was open slightly but Rachel thought it would be safer to peer through the gaps in the hinges. She crept close, her skin pressed right against the rough wood but the sight that greeted her took away all fears of splinters.

The boys were curled up on the bed together. Her baby brother was spooning her best friend while a Disney movie played on the laptop perched in front of them. The mumblings she had heard had not been a conversation but the lyrics to the song they were singing quietly along with that Rachel now recognised as 'I Can Go The Distance' from 'Hercules'. They were pressed close enough that Blaine was practically singing into the back of Kurt's neck. The other boy didn't seem to mind though. Even from her crude vantage point, Rachel could see that Kurt was relaxed. His shoulders and torso were slumped snuggly against Blaine's chest, their legs, lightly intertwined, and Kurt seemed to be absentmindedly playing with the younger boy's fingers where they rested in his.

Rachel found herself in almost an enchantment as she watched the two. Even though they were not pressed tight, their bodies seemed to mold into one another seamlessly and effortlessly. They had both been through so much but it seemed as if they were finally able to find solace in each other. Blaine was learning how to embrace the being he was born to be and Kurt was finding safety within his own body again. Rachel knew these processes would be slow moving but to see them seem so at peace with the world, even if that world simply consisted of the bed, the laptop, and the other boy lying next to them, ignited something within her, a stirring of sorts. Maybe it was a bit of that fire. It was hard to recognize. It had been gone for so long.

Maybe it was creepy but Rachel thought that she could have stood out in the hall all day and simply watched them be. In reality though, the short brunette knew how clumsy she could be and decided it was best to leave while they still lay blissfully unaware. She did not want to ruin their moment. Reluctantly, she pulled away from her spying local and continued on her way to the bathroom. A shower was in order.

Once the door was firmly closed, Rachel stripped of her tainted garments quickly. They had been touched by her captures, been into that retched building, reeked of alcohol and nicotine that had been exhaled by the vile beasts and maybe, although it could have been her imagination, smoke from the fire. She threw them roughly in the hamper although her eyes lingered on the trash can for a moment while the clothes were in her hands. She avoided the mirror like the plague once naked and faced with her own bare flesh. Her body felt too dirty and she was scared to look at it even though logically, Rachel knew that she would see nothing different. She was terrified to see a difference though because unlike the clothes, she could not simply strip her skin away. Trauma seemed to trump logic these days though.

Hastily, she climbed into the small shower stall and just as every time previous, prayed for hot water but was inevitably greeted by an arctic ocean. Water was water though and today it took very little will power to remain under its unsteady stream. The stench and grime from the club had latched onto her hair and from there, the visions of it seeping into her flesh were too vivid to not scrub her skin raw. In reality, Rachel was simply trying to rid herself of this life, scour the top layers of skin that had been bared for greedy men. She wanted to cleanse it of the memory so that when she stepped out of the shower, she could look at herself in the mirror and be greeted with the girl she knew herself to be and not the dirty, degraded, stripper she had become.

Rachel finally shut off the water and stepped out when the risk of hypothermia was becoming no longer simply a running joke between herself and Kurt. The room seemed warmer now, maybe even a little more welcoming and Rachel decided to forgo the towel as she rummaged through the vanity drawers to find her once coveted body lotion. She had abandoned it shortly after taking up the moonlighting gig. Those men were not the sorts to look your best for. They did not deserve to see her at her best. Her clean skin seemed to welcome it back though. It soaked it easily, soothing and revitalizing. She breathed in the light and heavenly scent of coconut, letting it chase away the booze and smoke. She grabbed her tooth brush next to rid her mouth of lingering toxins. Finally, she grabbed the fluffy pink house coat, embroidered with gold stars, off the back of the door and wrapped it securely around her body. Rachel practically melted in the soft fabric but she refrained from letting her mind go completely; there was work to be done.


	11. Murder City

**Song Link: ** www {.} youtube {.} com/watch?v=pmfDvOEt_pY&feature=fvsr

**POV: **Kurt

_Chapter 11 : Murder City_

Over the next week a lot changed around their little apartment. Rachel seemed to have found some sort of hidden reserve of motivation and inspiration and Kurt had barely seen her in the last seven days. If she wasn't out all day, pounding the bleak pavement for work, then she was tucked up on the chair in the living room, typing furiously away on her laptop with a clear indication that she did not want to be disturbed. When he had asked what she was working on, Rachel had begrudgingly answered something about an original script before shooing him off. Kurt had just chuckled at her annoyed response. He had not really been in the mood to talk anyways. He hardly wanted to talk these days and as he found himself drifting further and further from Rachel because of it, Blaine was somehow inching his way closer and closer.

Today was the third day in a row and fifth day this week that he had woken up in the comfortable bed beside his best friend's younger brother. The first time had been purely innocent. Their tiered eyes had slipped closed while the movie played on before Kurt could bid Blaine goodnight and tip toe out to the living room floor. After that first time though, Kurt was unsure if he could honestly say there was no motive behind insisting on one more movie each night. It was just that the bed was so comfortable and the protective arms that found new ways to tangle around him each night defended him from the dark figures that would creep into his sleeping mind and terrorize it until he awoke trembling with fear. They would still begin in the same manner, Mr. Jessup's menacing hand grabbing his wrist and dragging him back into the small office. However, with Blaine in the bed next to him, the boy's arms would wrap around him in the nightmare, dislodge the attackers grip and lead him out of the coffee shop, back to the apartment, and into the warm bed where Blaine would tangle himself in a fashion that matched their position when Kurt would wake up. Once awake, it was easier to return to a peaceful slumber with the steadying hum of Blaine's breaths, the peaceful, innocent expression on his handsome face, and the ever present security that his solid body provided.

He had been awoken that morning from said very dream. In the dream, Blaine had carried him bridle style into the tiny room and laid him, ever so gently, onto the bed. The younger boy had then proceeded to cuddle into his side, resting his mass of dark curls atop Kurt's chest and his arms around his torso. Kurt had found himself in that very position once his eyes fluttered open.

It was still early but not quite early enough to seep into the warmth and comfort of the mattress and the boy and close his eyes once more. Blaine seemed too peaceful to wake though and Kurt could not get up without disturbing him so he simply continued to lie, relaxed in the warm bed. As the sun continued to rise however, shining brighter and brighter through the window and the hustle and bustle of the city grew outside, Kurt's body stiffened, his mind tensed, and any sort of peace he had found during the night was whisked away. In the light of the day, Kurt finally saw the dangers that had been hidden in the shadows of the night.

This should not have been the case. The scene was everything he had wanted from childhood. A lazy morning with a sweet and gorgeous boy sprawled across him was the epitome of the future he had planned back in Lima. It felt empty though, cold almost. The rise and fall of his chest fell out of sync with Blaine's and he could feel the guilt begin to seep through him. Of course this scene should have been bookended with rehearsals and opening parties, cast reunions and nights out on the town, mild freak outs about choreography and lines, and, above all, a beginning that consisted of an adorable and amusing tale that would become their meet cute. In reality though, there was nothing of the sort book marking their relationship. There wasn't even a relationship or at least, there should not be one.

The secret that Blaine had whispered to him in the dark of the wee hours of the morning after he managed to make it home on that hellish night began to haunt him. Words like that should not be ones to cut and carve and create holes in a being. Those words had been kind and sweet and so innocent and pure. Kurt could still remember the blush that had crept up the younger boy's cheeks and the honesty with which he had spoken. And those words had been anything but flippant. Kurt knew how hard it could be to admit an attraction to another boy and knowing that Blaine had probably been sitting with that life altering reality since he was fourteen, trying so hard to bury the feeling, it broke his heart. It broke it and stomped on it and scattered all the pieces because he could not just simply accept Blaine's crush and whisper a shy return. His stomach churned with guilt as he realized that over the past week, that was exactly what he had been doing with every movie watched in the bedroom, made dark by the midnight sky.

Blaine had just been so amazing that it was hard to resist. He was there to listen if Kurt wanted to talk but never pushed for words. He had sat through every Disney movie they owned at least twice and was always able to come up with something random to mumble on about when Kurt just wanted to hear his voice. He got close when Kurt needed to be held and would keep his distance when Kurt needed space. Kurt had loved it, that feeling of being doted on and cared for but now, lying there in bed, running his fingers through Blaine's dark, soft dark curls, relying on the rise and fall of the other's chest to keep him grounded, it twisted around on him. Blaine was so willing to help because he had a schoolboy crush on Kurt but the problem was there was nothing schoolboy about the situation. Kurt was using him for comfort, abusing his innocence, doing everything that had made him not want to continue home that awful night.

The tears started then. He had cried so much but this was the first time it had been about someone other than himself. The rise and fall of their chests fell out of sync as sobs began to rake through him. His hands pulled away from the curly locks and went to his own face. He tried to muffle the noise but Blaine awoke anyways and the wide hazel eyes that greeted him with nothing but friendly concern seemed to make everything worse.

"_Hey, hey, Kurt what's wrong? Was it another nightmare?_" The words were so gentle. Kurt just could not deal with it anymore. He pulled his body out from under Blaine's and turned away from him. "_Oh, Kurt. Talk to me. Tell me what I can do to help._"

"_You can't,_" Kurt replied dejectedly into a pillow.

"_What was that? I didn't quite hear you._"

"_I said, you can't help!_" Kurt sat up as he practically shouted in Blaine's face. The hurt was evident on the other boy's features immediately. Kurt could tell Blaine was holding back his own tears and there was a pause where both boys just stared at each other with wet eyes.

"_I know that I can't make this all go away. I would if I could but no one can. I'll do whatever I can do though to make this easier. Just please don't shut everyone out, Kurt. It'll really scare me if you're going through this alone._" He was still so calm and sincere. Kurt needed to get away.

"_Well I guess you're going to be scared then because I just can't do this anymore,_" he bit back.

"_Can't do what?_"

"_This, Blaine! I can't do this. I just….just leave me alone okay!_" Kurt turned his back to the other boy again, unable to process the tears present in the golden orbs or the way the full bottom lip trembled lightly. Blaine was supposed to be happy and youthful and embracing and experiencing all the good that could come from a young blossoming love. He should not have to see what Kurt's life had become.

Kurt felt a tentative warm hand reach out and touch his shoulder. He could feel the hand trying desperately through its gentle grasp to pull him back, back to the place they had been when their eyes had closed the previous night. He could not go back though. He had to move forwards. The need to get away overtook him and the hand was suddenly cold and strong. It was forcefully pulling him back to the bed, pushing him to his knees on the cold office floor, holding him there while his captor's crotch was rubbed repeatedly into his face. His blood ran cold and fear raked him in a way he had only known once before.

"_Get the fuck away from me!_" Kurt yelled as he roughly shoved Blaine away and ran across the hall to the bathroom where the locked door could keep him safe.

Collapsing to the floor, Kurt tuned out the world. He shook from sobs caused by fear and anger and guilt. He could hear Blaine pleading with him on the other side of the door, pounding on it. The boy's weakened body was the only thing preventing him from breaking through the wood. Kurt could not process the desperate words though, begging him not to hurt himself. He could only curl in on his trembling body and cry, pleading desperately with himself that along with the tears, the bad would seep out too.

Eventually the boy on the other side of the door grew quiet and Kurt heard his body slide down the wooden barrier. The shadows seeping through the crack under the door indicated that Blaine had taken a seat outside. Kurt was in no state to see him at the moment so he waited in the puddle of his own tears, willing him to leave.

It was quiet for a long time. Kurt was beginning to think that his eyes and ears had played tricks on him and that Blaine had left the apartment instead of perched in the hall outside the bathroom. He sat up shakily, about to go check when he heard the unmistakeable sound of the front door and Rachel call out to announce her return. He heard her footsteps move further into the apartment and listened carefully.

"_Why are sitting in the hall? Is he okay?_" Her voice was quiet but the concern had elevated it above a whisper so he could hear.

"_I-I don't know Rach. He was…. he was just crying when I woke up and I asked what was wrong and I tried to comfort him but he just kept telling me to go away. At one point I put my hand on his shoulder and he kinda froze and his eyes glazed over. It was terrifying. When he snapped out of it, he ran and locked himself in the bathroom. I don't know what to do._" Blaine's voice was rough as if it was sore from crying.

"_Okay, okay, hey shhh, it's alright. Come on, don't you have a doctor's appointment?_"

"_Yeah. Last one. If everything's fine then I'm back to work on Monday._"

"_Okay well you go get ready and I'll sit with Kurt._"

There was some shuffling outside the door and after another five minutes or so Kurt heard Blaine kissing his sister goodbye and the front door close once more. It was quiet for a few more minutes before he heard Rachel's voice call softly to him.

"_Kurt, h-he's gone. Can I come in?_" He did not respond but he could not hide that the sound of her familiar voice, a voice that had been with him for the past ten years, soothed him in a way. "_Kurt, please, it's just me._" His hand moved almost on its own accord and before Kurt could really register what was happening, he had unlocked the door and Rachel was stepping tentatively in. She mimicked his position, sitting against the bathtub, knees tucked up to his chest, arms wrapped securely around them. "_Hey,_" she spoke softly.

"_Hi,_" he whispered back. Kurt went on to explain what had happened that morning, flushing when he admitted to his growing feelings towards her brother, trembling when he recalled the flash back.

"_You need to tell him Kurt,_" she offered once he had finished. "_He was so shaken when he left. He's afraid he's broken you. After he kissed me goodbye, he placed his hand so gently against the door and there were tears in his eyes. He needs to know how you feel and you need to let him make up his own mind. I know all you see is that fourteen year old boy but Kurt, he's nineteen. He's a man now. He must've known he was gay for at least half of those years and he's lived under the roof of our homophobic father. He's not that innocent to the ways of the world, Kurt._"

"_It's just going to be so hard. I don't want to put him on the spot or anything._" He looked at her with pleadingly.

"_I know, sweetie but he'll just be grateful that you can still be in the same room as him. You had him really worried. You had us both worried._"

"_I know, Rach… I'm so sorry._"

"_It's okay. Just try to let one of us in next time. We're both here to help and to see you through this._" She smiled warmly at him and with the love that shone through her eyes that were so like Blaine's, Kurt couldn't help but return the hopeful expression. "_Hugs?_"

"_Hugs,_" he affirmed and freed his arms from their protective duties to wrap snuggly around the girl beside him.

It did not take long for Blaine to return. After sitting with Rachel for a good twenty minutes, Kurt had hopped in the shower and by the time got out, got dressed, made a pot of tea and was settling down with 'The Philosopher's Stone', the younger boy was walking through the door. Kurt did not miss the way Rachel snuck out just after Blaine came home, presumably to give them their privacy.

"_Hey,_" Blaine approached cautiously once he entered the kitchen. He did not enter far though, more hovered in the doorway, unsure of his place.

"_Come sit,_" Kurt replied with an inviting smile as he nodded to the seat next to him. "_Oh and there's tea in the pot if you want some._"

"_You sure?_"

"_Of course. I want to talk to you._" He worded it as friendly as he could so as not to scare Blaine away. It seemed to work and the other boy moved slowly to the cupboard to pour himself a mug of the soothing liquid and adding the necessary sugar before taking a seat next to Kurt. "_So how was the doctor?_"

"_Well according to him I'm good as new so it's back to work on Monday,_" he sighed.

"_You don't seem too excited about that._"

"_You could say that again,_" Blaine chuckled. Kurt smiled back. He loved the sound of Blaine's laugh. Their eyes found each other's and for a moment everything was still. It scared Kurt how lost he became in the golden swirls. He pulled away before it went further and proceeded to dive into the reason they were sitting there. At the end of his explanation there was another pause but it was different this time. They were both processing all that had been said and revealed.

"_Thank-you for telling me, Kurt,_" Blaine eventually spoke with sincerity. "_I am a big boy though and I can make my own decisions. I know that I cannot possibly understand what you are going through or even what I'm entering by staying by your side but I want to be by your side, Kurt. And yes, you're right, this is not how I pictured my first relationship starting but that doesn't matter. You are the one who matters. You are the one who somehow makes me feel okay about who I am. You are the one who gives me butterflies and makes me blush. You are the one who makes love seem possible and tangible and exciting. And this, all those things I just said, aren't things that you used to do before the attack. They are things you do to me now, right now, and I'm willing to jump, or crawl because I understand that this will move slowly, into that unknown so that I can experience all those thing and more._"

"_Blaine, I-I…_"

"_Just give me a chance. Have some faith in me._"

"_Okay,_" Kurt agreed gently. There was just something about Blaine's words that struck accord with him. And maybe it was not the wisest decision but it felt right and there were not a whole lot of things in his life that had felt right for a while. He needed to start trusting again at some point so why not put that trust in the sweet boy who looked at him with such care.

"_Okay?_" Kurt was unsure what made him do it. Maybe it was the endearing hesitance with which Blaine spoke. Maybe it was the adorable way his face lit up with surprise at Kurt's agreement. Maybe it was because he needed a little something tangible to really cement this moment in his mind. Maybe it was purely impulse with no rational behind it at all. The reason did not matter though once he had leaned in. He connected their lips chastely, a faint brush of soft, pink flesh. He pulled back to rest his forehead against Blaine's and lightly rubbed his nose against the other's.

"_Yeah,_" he replied in a whisper. The dazed look in Blaine's eyes however, made Kurt wonder if the boy had even registered his words.


	12. Little Girl

**Warnings: **homophobic language

**Song Link: ** www {.} youtube {.} com/watch?v=813ob7yKEfs&feature=relmfu

**POV: **Blaine

_Chapter 12 : Little Girl_

The last several days of his freedom before he had to return to work, his grey office, his self-righteous coworkers, his father's world, Blaine spent joyfully at Kurt's side. To any outsider their relationship looked the way it had before their talk. There were night time cuddles, Disney marathons, in depth discussions of Harry Potter. In private they carefully explored the wonders of a tentative hand hold, a chaste kiss, and a bashful blush from the boy sitting beside them, but nothing beyond that. Blaine was a little relieved by this. His brain had just only accepted the pull of his heart but the truth remained at times overwhelming and terrifying. He did question whether it was the right thing for him to become somebody's boyfriend this soon but he reasoned that he had ignored his heart, ran from it, for too long and it had gotten him lost and confused and miserable and afraid. Maybe listening to his heart for once would change that and lead him down a brighter path. Kurt was, in a sense, in the same boat, struggling to find trust in touch from another man and so their slow pace moved well enough for both of them.

By the time Sunday rolled around however, Blaine found himself going a bit stir crazy. He loved lazy days, lounging around the apartment, tucked safely away from the treacherous city with Kurt but he needed to get out. He had been staring out the window for the past hour hoping Kurt would pick up on his itch but the boy remained oblivious, intentional or otherwise Blaine was not sure. The view outside was not the most welcoming, sweltering heat bathing the busy streets was certainly not ideal but growing up in Ohio, Blaine was used to the oppressing sun; it was nothing a little ice cream couldn't sooth away.

"_Hey, do you want to go grab some ice cream?_" He asked cheerfully to the boy sitting beside him with his face buried in his book. Blaine was hoping his smile and light hearted attitude towards the offer would distract Kurt from the fact that this would require him to leave the apartment, something he had not done since returning from the hospital.

"_Mmmm, I'd love some. Get me mint chocolate chip,_" the boy answered without looking up as he flipped to the next page.

"_No, I meant why don't we go together? You know, get some fresh air, change of scenery, a little exercise._"

"_I hardly consider the exhaust flooded New York streets to be fresh air,_" Kurt stated in a very uninterested manner.

"_Kurt,_" Blaine said firmly pulling the book from the other's hands. "_Come get ice cream with me. It can be like a date. I'll pay and everything._"

"_Blaine, you know why I don't want to go. Can't you just leave it at that?_" His voice was quiet and those blue eyes refused to look up from the grungy carpeted floor.

"_No,_" Blaine stated simply but there was a warm tone to his voice. He leaned over to press a gentle kiss to the saddened boy's cheek, revelling in the unbelievable softness to the pale skin before continuing, "_You have to go outside at some point and I'll be with you the entire time, and it's the middle of the day, and it's to go get ice cream._" Blaine ended with an eager smile. "_Please, Kurt. I want ice cream._"

"_O-okay, but promise that you won't get excited by all the sugar and run off and leave me._" Even with the joking nature of the words, Blaine detected a truth to them as well.

"_I know you think I'm too young for you but I'm not five,_" Blaine chuckled as he grabbed Kurt's hand to pull him up. He squeezed the hand tightly though to let Kurt know that he understood the seriousness of his undertone.

"_That's debateable, Mr. I-Take-Five-Lumps-Of-Sugar-In-My-Tea._"

"_I believe it's three, thank-you very much and I also don't see where that has anything to do with this._" Blaine stood in mock offense, arms crossed tightly over his chest. Kurt simply scoffed and pulled him towards the door. This was already going better than he had imagined.

The walk to the shop was relatively short but Blaine knew it was long enough for the both of them. Kurt's grip on his hand was threatening to cut off his circulation and even though Blaine had no intention of letting go, holding another boy's hand on the busy New York streets was definitely making him more nervous than he thought it would. He could not help but think that every person they passed looked at him with a sinister heart and that at any moment a group of men like the one at the club was going finish him off for good this time. He stayed strong though. Kurt needed him to be strong. Even inside the little shop, Kurt refused his offer to wait in line while Kurt grabbed a seat, preferring to remain closely by his side.

They took their cones, mint chocolate chip for Kurt and cookie dough for Blaine, to a small table for two in the back, happy to escape the crowd for a bit. They were quiet for a few moments, Blaine could tell that Kurt was scanning the building for the quickest escape route but the older boy eventually spoke. "_This is a cool little place. I've never been here before but I love the fifties decor. Oh look, they even have a juke box._"

"_I know, right?_"

"_It's really tucked away. How did you find it?_"

"_It's on the way from my doctor's office. I actually had this idea that on the day of my last appointment I was going to ask if you would come with me and then stop by here on the way home. I kinda wanted to celebrate the fact that I was okay, that those guys didn't break me permanently,_" Blaine admitted softly.

"_Oh, I'm so sorry. I never meant to take anything away from you._"

"_No, no, it's not your fault. I don't blame you in the least. I don't even know why I brought it up._"

"_Because it was – it is important to you. If we're going to be boyfriends we shouldn't have to hide those things from each other. I'm glad you told me. I want to know what goes on beneath those insane curls of yours._" Kurt's serious tone turned playful at the end and Blaine could not help but smile widely at the gorgeous boy sitting across from him.

"_That sounds good,_" he stated sincerely. "_It's funny to think that those guys were trying to beat the gay out of me but in retrospect, I think they ended up cementing it more fully._" Blaine clearly did not believe this. The beating only brought him to Rachel and Kurt and it was the two of them that helped Blaine see the light he had been running from. Blaine could tell from the soft expression of Kurt's face though that the other boy understood. It was nice having someone who seemed to grasp the inner turnings of his brain.

"_Well I'm glad they did, Mr. Anderberry._"

"_Me too, Mr. Hummel._"

They left the shop shortly and headed home. Kurt's hand found his again but Blaine found himself not stressing as much over the contact. It was only once they has stepped across the threshold of the apartment door did Kurt let his hand slip free. He did not go far however and as Blaine turned back to face him after shutting the door, the younger boy found a pair of soft pink lips pressing lightly into his, still chilled from the ice cream and tasting deliciously of chocolaty mint. It refreshed Blaine's mind from the summer haze and gave him hope that things could only get better.

It was later that night when Blaine's phone rang. The three house mates were sitting around the kitchen table playing slap jack. It was a familiar game that had been a staple of the Anderberry home when they were young and the two siblings had fallen right back into the competitive nature of the violent game. Blaine was already nursing a sore finger when he felt the familiar buzzing in his pocket. He pulled it out felt the dread flood back into his being as he read the name on the screen.

"_Blaine, what's wrong?_" Rachel asked after she presumably saw his face.

"_Uh, it's mom. I-I should take this. Sorry,_" he apologised as he stood from the table and made his way down the hall to the bedroom. He shut the door tightly behind him and hit the talk button just before the call would have been sent to his voicemail. "_Hi mom, how are you doing?_"

"_Hello Blaine, dear. Your father and I are doing quite well sweetie. He's very busy. He just got back from a business trip in Miami and he's off to LA for another one in a few days. You know him though._" She sounded unexpectedly sweet but then he remembered that she had no idea where he had been for the last few weeks.

"_Yeah._"

"_He wanted to know when you'll be back at the office. They just got a big client in and could use your help._"

"_Oh, uh, yeah I'll be back on Monday._"

"_Oh that's excellent. Your father will be so pleased._" Blaine could not help but scoff at this. His mother made it sound as if her husband's face would light up with the news but Blaine knew that it would be a miracle if the man simply nodded in recognition that there was a voice speaking to him. "_Did you get my care package?_"

"_No?_"

"_Really? I sent almost two weeks ago._"

"_Oh I haven't been home in while._" He had not even registered his words until they had slipped past his lips.

"_Oh? And where have you been staying then?_" She asked seemingly good naturedly. He could lie. He could easily say he was at a friend's house and that would be the end of that. Blaine was sick of lying though, physically and emotionally exhausted from hiding a core component of his soul from the world. The thought of crawling back into that claustrophobic closet was literally nauseating. Not only had he finally felt able to breathe again but Blaine had found someone to breathe in as well. He could not give up that satisfying oxygen especially after today when he had pushed Kurt to move forwards.

"_With, uh, I've been staying with Rachel,_" he admitted quietly.

"_Rachel? I don't think I've heard you mention a Rachel before._"

"_No, mom, I mean my sister, Rachel._"

"_What?_"

"_I know you heard me, mom._"

"_Well never mind how she found you, probably groveling for money no less, but I thought we as a family put her to rest a long time ago._" Her tone suddenly had a bite to it.

"_Mom, she's my si.._"

"_No Blaine, she hasn't been your sister or our daughter since she started bringing home that disgusting fairy boy._" Blaine could almost hear her scowl as she spoke about Kurt and it was that look a pure hatred that he knew was there, even more than the words themselves, that drove the first knife through his heart and everything he had been working towards over the few weeks.

"_His name is Kurt,_" he responded quietly.

"_Excuse me?_" Blaine could feel the seething in her voice.

"_Kurt. His name is Kurt and he's not disgusting._" This time he spoke more firmly.

"_Oh great, he's with you too isn't he, trying to rub his little faggy germs off on you. You need to leave Blaine before he poisons your mind like he did your sister's._" Knife number two came slicing through him and cut just a little deeper.

"_Well you know what mother, it's already too late. He's already infected me. We've been sleeping together for weeks._" He meant literally sleeping in the same bed together, not having sex, but his mother didn't need to know that.

"_No!_" She practically screamed it in his ear. "_My son is not a fag. Do you hear me Blaine? Your father and I will not put up with this disgrace. We will not have disease ridden, perverts molesting our son. So you listen and you listen up good. I'm giving you one week. You have one week to move back to your apartment, cut those two vermin out of your life, and sort out who it is that you want to be in this world. If you do not abide by these terms I will inform your father who will no doubt fire you, write you out of the will and kick you out of the apartment we purchased for you. You will also no longer be welcome in our home. One week, Blaine._"

She hung up before he could respond but that was probably for the best. Her last little spiel had been the third knife, the one that finished him off. If he was out of work then there would be no way he could continue to support Rachel and Kurt. They needed that money though and as much as he hated to admit it, he needed his parent's approval. He needed it so desperately that hearing his mother speak to him as if he was filth, like he was the enemy and not her baby boy was devastating. He would not have run from himself for so long if he did not need them by his side and he was a fool to think that anything inside himself or inside of them had changed. One thing that he knew for certain however was that he could not stay here. He had to listen to her. He had to go back to their world and his old life because he needed them to come back to him.

"_Knock, knock. Blaine, can I come in._" The angelic voice that called through the closed door crushed him.

"_Just a sec, Kurt,_" he choked out through a sob.

"_Blaine, what's wrong? Let me in and we can talk. Remember what we promised each other today?_" There was so much concern and compassion in his voice and Blaine felt so guilty that Kurt's love just did not measure up to his parents'.

"_I just need a minute,_" he pleaded. He was almost done packing and then he could simply bolt from the apartment before they could stop him.

"_What are you doing in there? It sounds like you're tearing the room apart._" There was not the slightest hint of accusation in his voice. It was a simple question asked out of pure curiosity because Kurt trusted him.

"_N-nothing, I'm just-shit! Ow, fuck!_" He knocked over the rickety bedside table and the rough wood managed to scrape up his leg while the lamp perched on top came crashing to the ground. There would be no stopping Kurt now.

"_Are you okay?_" The older boy asked as he opened the door slowly to survey the damage. "_Oh shit, your caff is all torn up. Wait, are you packing?_" His voice was suddenly small and Blaine could not bring himself to acknowledge Kurt. It would hurt too much. He shoved his final shirt into his bag and zipped it up. "_Blaine, stop. Just stop and talk to me for a second._" Blaine pushed past the boy standing in front of the bedroom door and raced to the front door. "_Wait, Blaine, stop, don't go, please don't go._"

"_What's going on?_" Rachel asked from the kitchen as he sped by. "_Blaine, why are you leaving?_"

"_I-I just can't do this okay? Just don't touch me!_" He yelled in Kurt's tear stained face as he pushed the boy off of him from where he had grabbed his arm. "_I'm not some fucking faggot so leave me the fuck alone!_" The last thing Blaine saw before slamming the door behind him was Kurt's devastated eyes. They were a solemn shade a grey that Blaine had never witnessed, even on that night he had come home three and a half hours late from the coffee shop. It was scary and when Blaine was scared he ran. He was good at running. He had run his whole life and now he found himself running again, back to his empty apartment, empty life, and empty heart.

**A/N: thoughts?  
so I'm almost done writing this (I've been stock piling chapters). I've decided to only make it 17 chapters instead of 18 b/c I just could not come up with anything. If you know the album, the second to last song is dark and I just couldn't come up with another hoop to make them jump through. Anyways, I hope you're enjoying it so far!  
lessthanthree  
Katie**


	13. Restless Heart Syndrome

**Warnings: **thoughts of suicide

**Song Link:** www {.} youtube {.} com/watch?v=3d5aaXL75GM&feature=fvsr

**POV: **Blaine / Rachel

_Chapter 13 : Restless Heart Syndrome_

It somewhat amazed Blaine at how quickly he fell back into his old routine. He had been living it for the past nineteen years though, so perhaps it was to be expected. He got up and showered, making sure his face was clean shaven and 'presentable' as his father put it. He put on one of his many expensive and pristine suits that not only possessed zero personality but also seemed to syphon all the life and soul out of his own seemingly greying flesh. He would attempt to add one of his coveted bowties but the sinking feeling in his gut weighed his arms down as if they were tied to cinder blocks making it impossible to tie the colourful, silky fabric. Every morning he settled for a clip on, grey and blue, striped tie. He would then trudge out the door and out into the busy street to join the rest of the business drones that lingered throughout the city.

His days at the office grew longer. Some legal issues had surfaced whilst he was away and now he was spending at least an extra two hours in his beige cubical attempting to uncover what had gone wrong because it had fallen on him to fix it. He would be exhausted by the time he returned home but home was no place the rest and rejuvenate. Everything about the generous sized flat, the overpriced furniture, the elegant paint, the little fifteen dollar nick nacks placed on shelves or tables to make everything seem more homey but just left it feeling fake, all of it just seemed to pile on top of him as soon as he stepped through the door. The pressure just mounted constantly and usually he could run from it but there was something different now. There was a poison the had infiltrated deeper than any others had managed. It seemed to originate in his heart and its black molasses make would crawl outwards, coating every artery and vein in its thick venom. It made his limbs heavy, making every movement a struggle through a boggy marsh. Sometimes it would penetrate his lung and clog the airy, sponge like capillaries as if it were tar built up from a lifetime of smoking. These were the time he felt as if he were suffocating. He would cough for hours, too weak to move from his bed. His eyes would fill with tears and he would feel the inside of his throat being ripped and torn but he needed air and the only way to get it was to hack up the poison.

Nothing had ever penetrated him that deep. No words spat from his father's ugly mouth, no backwards thinking politician or backwards moving political bill, no punch or kick or shove, no amount of repression he had placed on to himself had ever made him feel this worthless and sick and as if death had managed to wrap his skeletal fingers around his entire body and was crushing him, dragging him slowly and painfully down into the underworld. The reason this had gotten so far, so deep, so destructive, was because it started within. It started with the immense love that had been building for the boy who had suffered a fate astronomically worse than his own. It started there but the instant Blaine had slammed the door in Kurt's pleading face, all that light, that beacon of home and hope, was dowsed in his own shame and guilt. That love that had been growing in his soul, zipping its way outwards from his heart, for himself and for this boy imploded violently, like the Big Bang played in reverse. All of that emotion, all of that all-consuming, intense mass of emotion now a minuscule spec inside his heart, reformed itself into hate for the mind that took it away from everything. It seeped outwards, ragging war on that mind, that worthless, gutless, pathetic mind because his heart, his soul, and his body, his Kurt, deserved so much more.

Rachel was at a loss. She knew her brother must be a mess but all thoughts of leaving Kurt alone for a few hours that night to go check on him were dashed at the sight before her eyes. Her best friend, who had only moved from the bed to go to the washroom since Blaine's departure, was currently cradling a small bottle of sleeping pills. His eyes, which had remained unfocused and eerily empty for the past few long weeks, were finally rid of their glaze but the return of the vibrant blue unsettled her more. He looked almost hungry for the pills, the escape, the death that would come in mere hours if the delicate but sure hands that seemed to be petting the bottle only opened it and poured the relief into his salivating mouth.

Stepping carefully into the small bedroom, darkened from Kurt's refusal to turn on the light, Rachel placed the plate of toast onto the dresser and inched her way closer to his transfixed form. She placed her hands firmly on top of his and pried them gently away from the bottle. The pills inside rattled as their plastic confined fell to the comforter below. With one hand still holding Kurt's, Rachel grasped the offending container in the other and tucked it into the front pocket of her baby pink hoodie.

Kurt's intense gaze had followed the bottle the entire time but now that it was out of sight, Rachel watched as his eye lids closed heavily and he took and deep, shuddering breath. When he opened them again she was relieved to see a little more life in them. They were still sad and desperate but no longer glazed over or boring into death. He looked up at her slowly and she could see the tears beginning to pool and his lip quiver in shame.

"_Oh Kurt,_" Rachel whispered softly as she sat down next to him on the bed. He curled into her side, hiding his face in her soft sweater. "_I didn't know it was this bad sweetie. I knew you missed him and that you felt bad for not being able to make everything better for him. There's more though, isn't there? You wouldn't be here if there wasn't._" Kurt only nodded lightly and clutched to her tighter. "_Tell me what's wrong, Kurt,_" she coaxed him gently, rubbing his shaky back and stroking his auburn hair, greasy from a lack of showering. It took quite a while for the boy to find his voice again but he eventually did.

"_God, Rach, I j-just, I don't know. I don't know why I grabbed the pills. They were just there, in the cabinet next to the toothpaste and I just couldn't look away. They were what I was looking for, a way out of this mess. Before I knew what was really happening I was here and you were taking them from me. I'm so sorry, Rachel. I'm so, so sorry,_" Kurt managed to get out admits his desperate sobs.

"_Hey, no. Don't apologise. Just take deep breaths, okay? We'll get through this just like we get through everything,_" she soothed the distraught boy. His position, buried against her was cutting off the circulation in her arm and her hand was beginning to tingle with numbness but she continued to rub his shaking back. Rachel did not know what else to do.

It was sometime later that Kurt had finally seemed calm enough to talk. Rachel was a little frightened of where this conversation may go. With every comforting glance or coaxing word, she felt as if she was wading further and further out into unfamiliar water, away from the safety of the shore line and towards the sudden drop off that would leave her without footing. She continued to press though because she knew it was for the best. Rachel knew from experience that the more secretive something was, the more shame it carried and the harder it was to push past.

They settled with mugs of tea in hand on the kitchen floor. Kurt needed to get out of that bedroom and for some strange reason the kitchen floor was where Kurt and Rachel went when they had to talk. Kurt always sat leaning against the cabinets with his legs out stretched so that if he pointed his toes they would touch the opposite wall that separated the kitchen from the front entrance. Rachel always sat opposite him with her back against the wall. For some reason it just made them both feel safe.

"_I think I should start,_" Rachel stated once they were settled. "_There's something I've been keeping from you simply because I was ashamed and I wanted to be able to do something on my own. I didn't want you to have to come rescue me._" There were long pauses between her sentences. Rachel knew telling Kurt was the right thing to do because she had her suspicions that he was struggling to take back his stolen body. She knew her experience did not compare to his but it was something and it was all she had. "_I was having trouble with money but I knew if asked you, you would just end up in the same boat so I started stripping at this really sleazy club. I stopped after Blaine began helping out but, I don't know, I was there long enough to know what it feels like to have your body used and abused in a less than ideal manner._" Kurt remained silent. His eyes were cast downwards into his mug but Rachel could tell that they were focused on the liquid instead of simply in a haze. His lack of response worried her though. "_I'm not telling you this so it can be about me, Kurt. I know I can be a little self centered but please trust me here. I just thought that knowing this would maybe make it easier for you._"

"_I already knew,_" Kurt finally replied quietly not looking up from his tea.

"What? _How?_" Rachel asked a little shocked.

"_The night Blaine got attacked, I was there. You were acting weird and I realized you didn't have the money to be going out with friends all the time so I followed you,_" he stated simply.

"_Oh._" Rachel did not really know what to say anymore. This revelation threw her a bit. "_Why didn't you tell me?_"

"_Because I understood why you were keeping it a secret. You were embarrassed and I thought that outing you would just make it worse. I thought it would be easier for you to forget about if no one else knew so I pretended I didn't._" Rachel smiled a little at his answer.

"_It's funny because I thought that way too. But, after Blaine found out and I had someone on my side I changed my mind a bit. Telling someone took away that burden of it simply being a secret as well. It does make it harder to forget but it makes it easier to cope with and move forwards from. And really, I don't think you can ever really forget these things._" There was quiet moment for a while. Rachel had said all she could and now it was up to Kurt.

"_Do you, um, do feel whole again?_" He fidgeted a bit as a spoke, obviously uncomfortable.

"_Yes. I think so. I've been writing a lot lately and getting back into the audition process. Finding that passion for Broadway again showed me that that club did not change who I am. It took a while and I'm certainly not at the point where I would discuss the experience freely with just anybody but I don't feel as tainted as I did on some of those nights._" Kurt nodded as she spoke but paused again before speaking. Once he started though, it was like the flood gates had burst.

"_Blaine was helping me get there. He didn't know what he was doing besides just being nice and all but he was doing it. It's just my body felt so disgusting and then after the hospital too, nothing felt like mine anymore. It felt like I had no control or say and it just made my skin crawl. The thought of being touched in any form was terrifying because it seemed like that simple contact could then morph into anything because I didn't own my body anymore. I didn't even want to own it at times. I mean, you know me, Rach, I'm a little, baby penguin when it comes to sexual things but my body isn't now and I hate it. I hate it so much._" He took and shaky breath, blinking away the now steady falling tears before continuing. "_There was something about Blaine that was different though. I still don't know what it was about him, maybe because I knew him when he was young so I still think of him that way, I don't know but whatever it was made me feel okay around him. It made me trust him. Nothing about his touches made me flinch away and I felt so safe when we cuddled. When his arms were around me, those were the only times I've felt remotely comfortable in my own skin. A-and he liked me, Rachel. He like, like liked me. No one has ever liked me before. I n-never thought anyone would, especially after this but he did. H-he made me feel beautiful and perfect and whole and even thinking about it n-now, those things seem an impossible distance away but he made it all tangible. Now he's gone. I pushed him too far too fast into something that he didn't deserve and he ran. I just, I don't know what to do without him and it's scary because I don't think he's ever coming back._"

**A/N: I hope you're all enjoying the story so far! I just wanted to let you know that I'm going on vacation for a week so the next chapter will be up a few days later than usual. I also won't be able to respond to reviews right away so don't think that means I don't appreciate them because I really, really do! **


	14. Horseshoes and Hand Grenades

**Song Link: ** www {.} youtube {.} com/watch?v=CAnsTfrtEEA

**POV: **Kurt

_Chapter 14 : Horseshoes and Hand Grenades_

It was another few days before Kurt realised he was making his way through the seven stages of grief. The night Blaine had left, he had calmed himself by convincing his mind that Blaine would return. This almost brutal bliss had not lasted long and after a second night of laying down in an empty bed, Kurt's final hope of his saviors return had been swallowed by a depressing ache deep within his broken body and shattered soul. The menacing pull of the back despair was fed by his harbouring guilt for dragging this poor, innocent, sweet boy into something too dark for his young spirit. This black wall, resting heavily against his chest remained for far too long. It held strong for several days after Rachel had coaxed him to talk before it began to morph into something else.

A violent heat ignited within him and his rage flared. It was his entrance into the anger stage that triggered Kurt's realization that he was actually mourning the loss of Blaine. The epiphany just managed to piss him off even more though. It pissed him off that Blaine could have so much effect over his emotions. The boy was not even dead. He had run away, abandoned Kurt and yet Kurt still grieved him like he did in the early days after his mother's death. His mother would have given anything to spend even one more day with him but Blaine had chosen to leave. The boy that did not care enough to stay with him through the hard times should not have the same impact on him that his mother did. It should not be this way but it was and it frustrated Kurt close to madness.

He paced, could not lay, or sit, or stand still. He could not concentrate on the any of words inside the books that used to be his coveted escape. Disney movies lost all charm and were suddenly just tales filled with lies aimed at filling children with false hope. Rachel's snoring was no longer endearing; at times, he caught himself wanting to smother her with the pillow under head. Kurt knew he could not live his life in a rage forever but he did not know how to untie the knots that had twisted within his mind. It was a Thursday morning when he eventually saw release on the horizon.

He had been awoken by clattering in the kitchen and had stumbled out of the bedroom to investigate. Typically he would have simply asked Rachel what she was up to but being in his current state, Kurt was too angry to care and just wanted the noise to cease from ringing in his ears.

"_Rachel, for once in your life, could not be loudest person on the earth?_" He practically yelled at her through seething teeth.

"_I see you're still mad at the world,_" she replied calmly but there was a glare in her eyes. It reminded Kurt of the glare Blaine had shot him the last time he had seen the younger boy's eyes, the night he stormed out. "_I know things are tough right now but I'm getting sick of putting up with your grumpiness._"

"_Did you have to get sick of it this early in the morning?_" He bit back

"_It's nine and yes. I'm looking for a business card an agent gave me a while back. I'm pretty sure I put it in the junk drawer so now I gotta dig._"

"_What makes you think you have a shot now?_" His tone was harsh and unforgiving.

"_I've been writing something,_" she sighed, pulling out a small rectangular piece of paper from the drawer and placing it on the counter. "_There's a part in it reserved for you if it all works out but the character is a happy one so you'll have to erase that permanent scowl._"

"_Oh good, you found it. Now I can finally have some peace around here. Who knows, that might be the ticket to a smile?_"

"_Nope, that's Blaine's card. I pulled it out because I'm thinking about giving him a call and spending a few days with him. I love you, Kurt but I'm done with all the abuse you've been shouting at me. I've done nothing but be a friend to you and maybe if I leave you alone for a while you'll begin to realize how underappreciated I am around here._"

"_Good luck with that,_" he scoffed. "_You know as well as I do that it wasn't just me he ran from._"

"_Yeah but I bet you I have a better chance at getting a friendly smile out of him than out of you._" She had gone back to digging through the small drawer beside the refrigerator that they had deemed their 'junk drawer'. It was full and takeout menus, elastic bands, pens that had ran out of ink years ago, pencils that had never been sharpened, dead batteries, and apparently the old business card that Rachel had been on a mission to track down because just as Kurt was turning back to the bedroom he heard her proclamation of success. "_Voila! Found it. Now I'll get out of your frazzled hair and track this woman down. Try being nice when I return._"

Kurt turned to tell her to try sticking a sock in her mouth when she returned but Rachel was out the door before he had the chance. It was then that the card she left on the counter truly caught his attention. He walked towards it hesitantly and immediately felt his blood boil when his eyes traced the name embossed in neat gold font that graced the crumpled, off white paper, the name of the person who had ruined everything, the person he hated.

Kurt's initial thought was to rip it to shreds, cause the pain and destruction to it that Blaine had caused him. That thought was quickly replace when his eyes finally pulled away from the name and noticed that address to the office building. Why rip the card when he could rip the person? He quickly threw some sweats over his boxers and a polo shirt over his ratty wife beater. He did not care that his hair was probably a disaster, his teeth, unbrushed, or that the shirt had not been washed. This was by no means a mission to impress. It was a mission to seek revenge.

Any fear he had held about stepping foot outside the small apartment vanished with the slam of the front door. He walked quickly through the bustling streets. He moved in a straight path towards the office tower that overlooked the great park, refusing to partake in the typical weave and instead, forcing the tourist and business men to move out of his definite path. It gave him a sense of control and power that had been missing from his life for far too long.

By the time Kurt reached his destination, he had become so used to people just stepping aside for him that the receptionist that attempted to stop him because he did not have an appointment was simply shot a glare as he marched past. She ran after him but her short, choppy wobble due to her too high heels was no match for Kurt's determined stride. Her continuous shouting alerted the employees and within moments, several heads were poking out of office doors to inspect the commotion. Kurt spotted the mop of dark curls buried beneath a mountain of greasy gel instantly.

"_K-Kurt? What are you doing here?_" The boy with the now frightened hazel eyes asked. There were various murmurs around them, co-workers surprised that Blaine knew the man who had stormed into their workplace. Kurt did not care though. He only had menacing eyes for the boy who was now slowly backing into his office, frantically looking around it for what Kurt could only guess to be an escape. That was Blaine's mistake though. Now that he was in the small, four walled box of a room, there was nowhere to go. Kurt approached quickly, slamming the door, the only exit, shut tight behind him. He vaguely registered the high pitched yelp of the receptionist and smiled briefly at the thought that he probably and hit her in the face with solid wooden door. "_K-Kurt…_" His smile turned back to a glare at the hesitant voice that uttered his name.

"_How dare you run away from me?_" He asked not sparing the harshness in his tone. Blaine caused this hurt; he should feel every ounce of it. "_How dare you leave me after everything that had happened? You had no right to just walk away like that without any explanation and you know what Blaine? I hate you for it,_" Kurt yelled. He did not care who heard as long as the words cut into the boy backed into the corner at the opposite side of the room.

"_I know, Kurt. I know and I'm so, so sorry. It was just too much. I can't do it, Kurt. I just….I can't._" Blaine's voice was quiet and pleading.

"_Can't do what? Can't be with someone who's been used and broken?_" Kurt questioned still seething.

"_What? No, no, Kurt, it was nothing like that-_"

"_Don't even have the decency to tell me to my face?_"

"_Shhh, Kurt could you please, keep your voice down? This is where I work. I don't want to cause a scene._"

"_Oh so it's still all about you, what you need, what you want, what would make everything easier for you. Did you ever think about what I needed or what your sister needed? No, of course you didn't because you're a selfish, stuck up, flake who runs to daddy dearest every time something gets difficult. And Rachel and I would ruin all of that for you so you just turn your back on the only people who truly love you so that everything in your life can be peachy._"

"_Can be peachy? Are you kidding me? I'm dealing with my own stuff too, you know. Nothing has been easy for me since I left. I've beaten myself up over it every day so don't you dare start throwing accusations in my face. You don't know a thing about my life._" Blaine's voice rose and the tone, stronger and surer. It seemed he was not going to take Kurt's abuse lying down but Kurt did not mind in the least.

"_No, you're right, I don't know. I don't know because I haven't coward away in the closet for nineteen years. I have a little more self-worth than that. Don't you think it's sad that a rape victim thinks more highly of themselves than you do? Oh wait, that's right, you don't actually have any thoughts. You're just you're father's mindless drone, a carbon copy of an ignorant fool._"

"_Fuck you, Kurt. Just fuck you,_" Blaine stated forcefully as he stalked forwards, advancing on Kurt's space. "_You think that just because you came out early because you were granted that privilege of acceptance, that you're better than every other gay person that has taken a little longer to come to terms with it all. You think that because you moved away from home without financial support from your parents that you can look down on those who didn't. You live on this morally high cloud and judge everyone who treads below it. And hey, maybe I am pathetic because for some fucked up reason I'm still in love with you despite the fact that you're so fucking stuck up._" Blaine was right in his face now. The hot, angry breath carrying each word fell distractingly on Kurt's neck. It did not stop him however from registering the last statement.

"_Wait, what?_" He asked softly.

"_Oh, for fuck sakes, Kurt. I love you. I've loved you since I was nine and Rachel brought you home. I listened to my dad say horrible things about you and it scared the shit out of me because I was fucking nine. It was torturous to listen to him spout all this hate and know that he wouldn't hesitate for a second to turn on me. I had to hide it and you know how fucking terrible little kids are at hiding crushes. I lived in constant fear from the time I was nine and I still live in it, okay? I hated you because you were the proof that I was like you and then I hated you even more because it didn't stop me from loving you. And now, right fucking now, you're right here and I can't do anything because I'm still so bloody scared. I'm scared of my dad, I'm scared of the people listening on the other side of that wall, I'm scared of you, and I'm scared of myself. My life is a mess because I'm so scared and all I do is run from it. The only thing besides the fear that's ever remained constant though, is my love for you._" Blaine yelled his entire speech. Kurt could see his body shaking but he did not know whether it was from rage or another fear, a fear of rejection. His eyes were on fire. They were locked to Kurt's, barely blinking, dancing with a life sparked out of every pent up secret finally released. It was that life that captivated Kurt in a way that he had never been before, in a way that shifted every gear in his body and made him reach out with both hands, grabbing the other boy's face forcefully and smashing their lips together in a kiss that fed on the negative creature terrorizing both of their bodies.

**A/N: So I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter and sorry it was a few days late; I was on vacation. This is hands down my favorite song from the album so I figured we needed a bit of a happy ending to it. Only three chapters to go! I can't believe it's almost done. **


	15. The Static Age

**A/N: So fair warning that this chapter is short and kinda just filler. It serves its purpose but it's nothing amazing. Next chapter will totally make up for this though so hang in there!  
Lessthanthree  
Katie **

**Song Link: ** www {.} youtube {.} com/watch?v=Q4ba4XV7f8g&feature=fvsr

**POV: **Blaine / Rachel

_Chapter 15 : The Static Age_

Blaine was stunned when Kurt's lips smashed into his. His body had gone ridged and the older boy had used it to his advantage and backed him into the desk. The solid wood slamming into his thighs snapped him back to the world and Blaine quickly moulded his body into Kurt's, weaving his fingers into the messy hair. The usually soft auburn locks felt slightly greasy but Blaine did not care; it was a part of Kurt and he could grip the strands tight in his fists so the boy could never escape his presence.

All the stress and hurt that had built within him since walking out the door seemed to melt away. The strong arms around his waist, the chest pressed tight to his, and the pink, lightly chapped, lips so sure against his own, soaked every bad feeling from his tired body and replaced it with a life and a fire that had been slowly building over his time spent in the little, one bedroom, apartment but been snuffed when he slammed the door as he ran away.

"_Anderson! We're going to have to ask you and your friend to leave. Now!_" The booming voice of his boss, Mr. Peters, on the other side of the office door awoke Blaine from the heaven he had slipped into. He knew there was a storm brewing, a man with horns and a pitch fork waiting to drag him back into the fires of hell just on the other side of the wooden barrier. He could tell that Kurt knew as well for the older boy had pulled away and looked to the offending sound before turning back to him with a concerned and apologetic expression gracing his bruised lips. All Blaine could do was smile through his breathless pants though. He could not explain why but for some reason, the imminent threat of the devil no longer frightened him. It was when Kurt's face lit up in return that Blaine knew why he suddenly had the courage. He was finally given an out, an actual path to happiness that he had never known before. He could go with running aimlessly and hopelessly into dead ends over and over again. He could simply walk out the door, hand in hand with the boy he loved and never have the need to turn back.

"_Well, I guess we should go,_" he chuckled out, his eyes never leaving the turquoise oceans staring in awe at him.

"_You sure? I can tell them it was all my fault._"

"_No, not fault. This wasn't a bad thing. This was the best thing that could've ever happened and we're going to walk out of here together._"

"_Anderson! You got ten seconds or we're breaking down this door and sending you the bill!_"

"_Are you sure you're ready for this?_" Kurt asked softly. Blaine detected the caring and loving tone in the angelic voice. There was no need to hesitate for the answer. With one hand, Blaine reached for Kurt's. With the other, he grabbed the cell phone off his desk and handed it to the boy by his side, instructing him to call one on speed dial.

He opened the door to find security waiting to escort them out. He did not talk to anyone, did not answer any of their questions or retort any of their offending comments. He walked proud with his head high and his grip on Kurt's hand tight despite his disheveled appearance and inevitable firing. He was quiet until Kurt leaned in close and whispered a foreseeable inquiry into his ear: "_Why am I calling your father?_"

"_He's on a business trip in LA. His cell is the only way to reach him at the moment-_" Blaine replied calmly before Kurt cut him off.

"_Wait, it's going to voicemail. What am I supposed to be doing?_"

"_Sing him a song? I don't know? Just do something to fill it up. We have to keep the line busy so Peters can't call him. He still has access to my bank account so I need to get the money out before he does,_" he explained nonchalantly. Kurt gave him a wary look but broke into song nonetheless and within the first few bars of 'One Jump Ahead' they were both trying to restrain their giggles in front of the very bemused security guard.

Once out of the building they turned right and by the time they hit the end of the block, the voicemail cut Kurt off. Before Blaine could tell him to dial again though, the boy at his side was already on it and within a minute the lyrics to 'Friend Like Me' were being sung quite loudly and quite theatrically into the phone as Blaine lead them down the busy street to the nearest bank. Kurt threw himself into the performance even in the middle of a crowded street where all eyes were on him. Blaine was amazed because just days ago, the older boy had been terrified of outside attention. Seeing Kurt so carefree and happy though just reassured Blaine that he was doing the right thing and this could all end in a happily ever after.

One thing he could not fathom though was why the boy had not succeeded in his quest for Broadway. Everything about Kurt in that moment shouted theatricality. His perfect voice hit every note with every dramatic infliction required. Kurt was bringing so much joy and amusement to Blaine as they walked down the street that the younger boy literally laughed all the way to the bank and even when he left Kurt outside, he still had a chuckle on his breath as he walked up to the teller.

Stepping out fifteen minutes later, Blaine found Kurt still singing away into his cell phone. It seemed he had sung his way through the 'Aladdin' soundtrack and had moved onto 'The Lion King'. Kurt's eyes lit up when he slipped his hand back into his and they began to head home.

They had brief conversations during their walk while Kurt redialed and waited for the call to go to voicemail.

"_So I assume you got the money,_" Kurt said as he pulled the phone away from his ear to end the call.

"_I got most of it,_" he replied with a sigh.

"_Withdrawal limits?_" The older boy asked, the phone now replaced by his ear as he presumably waited for the ringing to go to voicemail.

"_Yeah. I can go back tomorrow for the rest but if dad does close it, then this should be enough to keep us going for a while._"

"_That's good._" The conversation ended here as Kurt broke into a lovely rendition of 'I Just Can't Wait to be King'.

"_I was also thinking that I'll have to move in permanently. I know you guys don't really have the room but dad'll kick me out so it's probably best to do that before he comes looking,_ " he spoke when Kurt hung up the next time.

"_Wait, he can do that?_"

"_Yup. The deed's in his name,_" Blaine answered as Kurt redialed.

"_So you're really committed to this aren't you?_" Kurt asked softly, the blue eyes almost piercing with intensity at which they peered into his soul.

"_Yeah, I am,_" he assured with a grin.

"_Well in that case, why don't we make the next song a duet?_" The playful tone that washed through Kurt's angelic voice as he made the suggestion caused Blaine's heart to do a backflip within his chest.

"_Oh, and what did you have in mind?_"

"_Well I've sung everything from 'Aladdin' except 'A Whole New World' and it would feel very incomplete if I could not cover the entire soundtrack,_" Kurt stated very mater-of-factly, presenting Blaine the phone just as the beep chimed. He sang the first line without thought and the rest flowed just as easily. The hundreds of eyes of the people they past did not even phase him and he entered the small, derelict apartment after he and Kurt has successfully filled up his father's voicemail, happier than he had ever felt before.

Rachel stepped out of the agent's office with the biggest grin to grace her face in a long time. Not only had she made time to see her but after reading the first ten pages of her script, she put it down and sent it off to a friend who happened to be a producer. Rachel was so excited that she had a difficult time heeding her warnings of not getting hopes up because no promises could be made. The tiny brunette was simply too busy floating happily back into Broadway dream land. Rachel did however hear loud and clear the promise that she and Kurt could play the roles she had written specifically for herself and her best friend while they work shopped the musical if it ever even made it to that point. That was good enough for her though. In fact it was better than she could have ever expected after years of slamming doors and now, even if it was only a jar, Rachel had finally been able to open one for herself.


	16. 21 Guns

**Warnings: **homophobic language, sex

**Song Link: ** www {.} youtube {.} com/watch?v=w29aq_sgwxw&feature=relmfu

**POV:** Kurt

_Chapter 16 : 21 Guns_

When they got back to the apartment, the boys got to work. Blaine figured that if he made the move quick enough he could probably steal some of the furniture that his parents had bought for the lavish condo. He called up a moving company and set up the move for early the next morning and then they got to work clearing out space for the arrival of Blaine's stuff. Most of the derelict pieces like the coffee table and the couch, they returned to the side of the street where they had originally been found by Kurt and Rachel years earlier. Frankly, it was where they belonged. Kurt stopped him from disposing of the rickety book shelf though. He said his worn Harry Potter books looked at home on it and the crooked craftsmanship would make a good souvenir of their time living in squalor.

Around five o'clock, Rachel came bounding through the front door, confusion stricken across her face from presumably seeing the vast pile of their furniture laying outside by the dumpster. Blaine could not hold back the laugh at her contorted face but was soon shut up by the armful of sister that leapt at him, clearly happy about his return. It turned out that she had her own good news as well. The producer she had met up with during the day had taken a liking to her script and was willing to put some time into developing it further.

The trio spent the evening playing slap jack on the bare living floor, having also discarded the kitchen table and chairs. Rachel made a bit of a fuss as to why the boys had not waited until the new furniture arrived to throw out the old. Their answer was so as to make it easier for the movers but Blaine knew there was more to it. He was back, yes and welcomed gladly but there was still a little tension between him and the blue eyed boy, a missing trust that would need time to heal. Both knew it was there but neither wanted to address it so quickly after being reunited. They needed some happy memories so they had busied themselves elsewhere to buy time.

The next morning went smoothly. They met the movers at Blaine's condo and took the couch, a chair, the coffee table, a few end tables, the dining room set, the television and television stand, the bed, and all the linens and towels as well as all of Blaine's things, including an old guitar buried in the back of a closet. Rachel was ready to keep piling things in the truck until it was full and Kurt had to remind her of the minuscule size of the apartment they were returning too. They stopped at the bank on the way back but as Blaine had expected, his father had already shut down the account. This did not dampen their spirits too much though as they were able to spend the rest of the afternoon arranging the new furniture. It took a few attempts to make everyone happy but they made it work in the end before collapsing in an exhausted heap of limbs on the comfortable couch.

The biggest change was the more permanent sleeping accommodations. They moved Blaine's double bed into the bedroom for him and Kurt and sectioned off some space in the living room with a decretive partition screen, taken from the condo, to place the old single bed for Rachel. Clearly it was not ideal and it made the apartment seem even smaller and more cramped. There was hardly any room to walk on the stained carpet anymore. Everyone had a bed and a defined space now though and that made up entirely for the lack of floor space and let a positive light finally shine into the small apartment.

The first night back in their shared bed was a little awkward. The boys were both testing the water, seeing how close they could get, how tight they could hold, both afraid of crossing that invisible line that may have only existed in their imagination. With every passing night though, Blaine felt Kurt relax a little further into his arms when they slept and snuggle a bit closer. The boy began to open up more and more about his new fears and insecurities since the attack. Things like a hopeless need to feel whole again, to feel like himself and connected to himself again, to feel okay about desires to be intimate again and find a way for his mind and body to respond positively to those touches in reality and not just hypothetical fantasies. Blaine listened, always. He absorbed everything and tried his best to help the older boy realize what he described as impossible. The conversation flowed both ways though too and eventually Blaine shared back about trepidations of recently stepping into a person he had denied himself to be. It was easy to adore Kurt. It was easy to look into those ocean blue eyes and find nothing but beauty. It was easy to be playful with him. It was easy to be there for him. What was hard was supressing every foul word he had heard his father speak every time their lips touched in the ever chaste kisses that they shared in the privacy of the bedroom.

It was a slow process, one filled with its own ups and downs, but even though they maybe were not consciously aware of it, there was a need within both of them to overcome it all, to surpass it all, to conquer all the hate and bad that sat between them. That need would not be fulfilled by one simple act. Instead they felt the accomplishment little by little as kisses and declarations became more spontaneous, as proper dates became a part of their schedule, and as the hurt required less and less explanation because the other boy simply knew. It was two months later, on Blaine's twentieth birthday that the two boys let those final walls down completely.

They had talked about it a lot before the actual night. They knew what it meant to each other, the importance it held. For Kurt it would allow him to finally take back his body and allow his mind to find the wonders of sex again. It would put any of his persistent doubts about Blaine's true readiness for the relationship at ease. Kurt knew the night would prove to Blaine that there was a future here, that he was not broken, that he could truly trust again. He also knew that this would be how Blaine would finally forgive himself for running all those years.

Because Kurt knew of the importance to both of them, he planned it out carefully. Blaine's birthday was the perfect occasion because in a way it symbolised the rebirth of both of them. He knew Blaine was ready from their late night discussions, held under the cover of night fall to conceal bashful blushes. All he had to do was set it up. He bought a few dozen crimson roses to scatter tastefully amongst the absurd amount of candles he had purchased as well. He laid out blankets and pillows and supplies in the middle of the open roof top to finish it off. He did not worry about music; the night life in the lively city would suffice but he did worry about being disturbed. Rachel met him on the access stairs with the solution. A professional looking sign that stated that the roof was off limits while repairs were being done was quickly taped to the only door that led to the top of the apartment building to ward off any other tenants. She also supplied him with a broom that he could jam the door with once he and Blaine were up there so that they would have a bit of a guarantee.

Kurt then followed Rachel back down the four flights of steep, narrow stairs to their apartment to help her make Blaine's cake, double chocolate upon request. The birthday boy himself was at work that day, playing guitar at a restaurant nearby so it was easy to keep up the surprise.

"_So you got everything set then?_" Rachel asked as she began measuring out flour.

"_I believe so. The candles need to be lit but I'm sure I can sneak away to do that while he's gobbling down his third piece of cake,_" he replied with a chuckle.

"_You know, I don't know how I feel about you defiling my baby brother,_" she stated playfully.

"_Hey, you were the one who told me that he was no longer fourteen and that he was a man now and there are no take backs,_" he played along. "_Just be thankful I thought of the rooftop because otherwise you would have had to listen to us._"

"_I probably would've killed myself by morning._" They laughed lightly, dancing around each other in the small kitchen in well-practised form. "_You're doing okay though, right? It's not too late to back out._"

"_I'm fine, Rachel. I promise,_" he answered her concern with sincerity. "_I think that fact that I was the one to plan it all is helping. It makes me feel like I have a little more control and just imagining the look on his face as I was setting it all up got me really excited._"

"_Excited is good,_" she replied with a cheeky wink and hip bump. Kurt shoved her lightly back before busying himself in the fridge to hide his reddening cheeks. It was strange because he felt very much like the blushing virgin at that moment, excited but also nervous and embarrassed by sex. Growing up, he had become used to the feeling and had somewhat defined himself as such. In a strange way he had been sort of proud of the self-implemented label. Maybe he just forced himself to be proud so he did not have to be ashamed. It was hard to tell sometimes. Either way, that identity had been one of the reasons the attack had been so devastating; it had stolen part of him. It felt good to feel it return though, especially now, mere hours away from giving his everything to Blaine because this is how he should feel about it all. It meant that he would get everything back that had been stolen.

When Blaine came home, he showered quickly before redressing for dinner. Kurt happened to be in their bedroom when Blaine came in, dripping wet and covered only in the towel around his waist. The sight set the older boy into a haze as his eyes glued themselves to the delicious body before them and he suddenly could not wait for the night to fall.

The three headed out to dinner at the diner down the street. It was far from fancy. The napkins were disposable. The lighting was bright. It was a change though, from their own kitchen and that is what made it special. After the meal, the three of them walked back to the apartment, Kurt holding Blaine's hand who had his other arm wrapped around his sister. It was nice out, warm from the summer air and clear from an earlier wind, one of those nights where you could walk forever into the black unknown. They arrived home shortly though but Kurt had no complaints. He knew he would greet the dark sky again in mere hours.

The remainder of the evening passed in almost a blink of an eye. They sang 'Happy Birthday' and Blaine hastily blew out his candle so he could dig in. Rachel and Kurt were only given a piece after she wrestled it away from her brother. There was much shrieking and laughter and pure joy that filled the little box they lived in.

There was no word from Blaine's parents but no one had really expected there to be. They had not heard from them since Blaine walked out of the office. There was still a question to whether or not they knew where to find their two children. Blaine was convinced they did because if anyone had the means to track someone down it was his parents. Rachel, on the other hand, insisted they had not the faintest clue and not because the three of them were expert hiders but simply because the Anderson's no longer cared for their faggy son and their good for nothing daughter. It was probably a good thing though. Kurt could see that his boyfriend was doing well with his new life and any foul retaliation from Mr. or Mrs. Anderson would knock him back a few pegs. Without their ominous presence lurking in the back of the younger boy's mind, Blaine could finally live and embrace who he was as a person.

Present time was Kurt's chance to sneak away and light the candles. Rachel had gotten Blaine some new strings for his guitar and some new picks which he immediately needed to try out. As he bounded to the bedroom to change the strings, Kurt slipped up to the roof with Rachel's red lighter. It took a little longer than expected and when he came back down, it was clear his disappearance had not gone unnoticed.

"_There he is,_" Blaine chirped looking up from the guitar perched on his lap. "_It's not nice to abandon the birthday boy, you know,_" he continued with a pout.

"_I wasn't abandoning. I was merely setting up your present,_" Kurt replied with a smirk. The pout vanished immediately and a rather large grin spread across the handsome features.

"_What is it?_" The boy asked eagerly. Kurt chuckled at the puppy like response, falling in love with his adorable boyfriend all over again.

"_Well come with me and I'll show you._" Blaine placed the instrument aside and bounded towards him. Kurt called out a quick goodnight to Rachel and took the younger boy's hand and led him to the access stairs and up onto the roof. Blaine looked around in awe at the twinkling landscape, taking it all in before the wide eyed, mouth a gaped expression softened in understanding and he turned to Kurt.

"_Really?_" The younger boy asked sincerely.

"_Yeah,_" Kurt replied in barely a whisper and a gentle nod. He locked eyes with the golden orbs, losing himself in there magnificent swirls, glowing in the candle light. He could see the nerves in the other boy but his gaze did not waver and that was all the confirmation that Kurt needed. He stepped back to the door, pulling it shut and sliding the broom through the handle to act as a lock before walking slowly back to the boy whose eyes were still locked on his form and guiding him over to the blankets. He felt a tug on his hand though just before he reached his destination and turned to the boy preventing his motion, a sinking feeling settling in his stomach at the thought that maybe he had read it all wrong.

"_Dance with me?_" Blaine whispered into the night air.

"_Okay,_" he replied in a soft hum, a smile forming from his previously confused expression. Kurt felt Blaine's grip tighten around their clasped hands before the other gently picked up his free hand and placed onto his broad shoulder. Kurt grasped the shoulder firmly when he felt the arm is was attached to snake around his waist and draw him close.

There was no music but the city provided an energetic hum that dissipated softly in the dark sky. By the time it reached their ears, the sound could be swayed to easily, giving them beat and rhythm that kept them moving forwards in sync but calm enough to never rush them into a pace that would prove too quick to keep.

With every step that took them in a slow, lazy circle, Kurt found his body drifting closer and closer to Blaine's. A light breeze had picked up, cooling the air from the day's summer sun but he could feel the warmth radiating off of the other boy now, drawing him in. He willing allowed himself to be pulled and nestled his head into the crook of Blaine's neck, their chests now flush. The smell of Blaine's cologne, similar to pine trees after a fresh rain, filled him with every breath which had fallen in time with Blaine's own so their chests rose and fell together, always touching. Kurt swore he could also feel the other boy's heart beating. It was fast despite their slow spin. He let his hand resting on Blaine's shoulder wander a bit, down exploring the muscles of his back and then up to let his finger twin into the curls at the nape of his neck. Blaine mimicked this and Kurt felt the other boy's broad hand stroke up and down his spine and trace the slight curve of his waist and hips.

They danced for a while before Kurt felt his hand holding Blaine's being lifted towards the other boy's mouth and the soft, plush lips being pressed into his skin. It was not just one kiss though; it was several, showering his whole hand in kiss after kiss as they continued to sway. The lips then travel up his arm in both a playful and seductive manner and by the time Blaine reached the back of his ear, Kurt was in a blissful state of both giggles and arousal. He turned his head towards the other boy, capturing the busy lips with his own, sighing contently at the delicious, chocolaty taste that lingered and the velvety feel of the tongue and the plump skin. He was lost then, in the feeling and the moment, the anticipation of what was to come, and the passion that they had never expressed before. It was glorious and wonderful to have his mind go blank like that. He barely registered Blaine leading him to the blankets and peeling off his shirt.

He hesitated slightly once it was off and that first bit a skin was exposed. Kurt had always been a little self-conscious about his lithe figure and this had only heightened since the attack. His skin had been bruised, ugly black and blue, and it felt tainted. He had avoided his reflection in the mirror because he did not recognize what he saw as himself but as a used and abused toy. By now, the pale skin was pale again and the scrapes from the dirty finger nails had long healed but it was Blaine's gentle hands, running softly over his body, caressing it and showering it with awe and love and affection that truly made Kurt feel beautiful and worthy and whole again. He basked in this reconnection for a long while, content in his candle lit oasis, floating on a bed of rose petals under the starry heavens while his personal Adonis tended to his needs.

Blaine had managed to gently work his pants off before Kurt realised the birthday boy needed some attention too. He leaned up, slipping his hands up Blaine's chest and beginning to unbutton the buttons on the royal blue dress shirt. The boy's tan skin beckoned him with each sliver that was revealed and Kurt's lips began to follow his deft hands, pressing soundly to the bare chest as it was exposed. He felt Blaine shiver as he pushed the shirt from his shoulders. At first, Kurt thought it was from the chill in the air but glancing into Blaine's bright, wide, golden eyes and seeing nerves creep through the unyielding trust made Kurt realize it was the bareness and the anticipation instead. It made Kurt's heart flutter to see that vulnerability and so he wrapped his arms securely around the other boy, for protection not warmth, as he let his mouth explore the body lain out for him. With every peck, kitten lick, nibble, and nuzzle, Kurt poured every ounce affection and assurance that his soul could conjure into the receiving body, knowing that Blaine needed it just as much as he did. They both shared the responsibility of proving the beauty of the act to each other and neither was about to let that importance slip away into the night sky.

Everything continued slowly. They peeled back those final layers slowly. They touched, and kissed, and explored slowly. Blaine prepped him carefully with gentle and gradual thrusts of one then two then three fingers and finally entered him slowly again. It felt good this time. Kurt knew in theory that it was supposed to feel good if done with the proper care and love by the proper person but after the pure agony and torture he had been forced through, he had had his doubts. Those doubts vanished though as Blaine found that perfect angel and began to hit his prostate with each slow rock of his hips.

He kept his arms firmly around Blaine's back, holding him tight and keeping him close as the rocked together. Their lips had started out connected but Blaine had torn away to bury his face in Kurt's neck as the tingling began to settle low and heavy in their stomachs. It coiled so tight that it almost hurt but Blaine seemed to sense his growing need for release and wrapped a shaky, yet strong hand around him, stroking him in time to the rhythm of their hips.

"_I've got you, Kurt. Let go angel,_" the younger boy panted softly into his ear and the combination of the loving words, the warm breath, the now sure hand, the full thrust, and the boy responsible for all of it sent him over the edge and falling into pure and utter bliss. In that moment he felt that if he reached, he would be able to touch the stars above him but instead, Kurt tightened his grip on the boy who was now falling with him, catching him and pulling him snuggly to his naked and sweaty chest.

**A/N: Thoughts? **


	17. See the Light

**Song Link: ** www {.} youtube {.} com/watch?v=7djig2EcF_Y

**POV: **Kurt

_Chapter 17 : See The Light_

It was a week or so after Blaine's twentieth birthday when the high from that glorious night and the few nights that followed vanished without a trace. The heavenly feeling of being with Blaine, that Blaine had created for him and given to him, had made everything unbelievably light and airy and had him floating on clouds for the first time since actually stepping foot in the city. It was the first time something had actually gone right, a plan had actually worked out, and life had finally succeeded his expectations. Unfortunately, life had had its fill of pleasing him for the moment and Kurt found himself plummeting from the skies and landing with a thud back in the hard realities he still had to face all because of a stupid flyer and an extremely excited boyfriend.

"_Kurt, Kurt, guess what?_" Blaine called as he bounded through the front door. Kurt barely had time to look up from 'The Goblet of Fire' before his boyfriend had skipped his way from the entrance and into the living room, frantically waving a neon green piece of paper in his face.

"_Woah, calm down for a sec,_" he chuckled trying to get his hold on the paper so he could actually see what Blaine was so excited about.

"_But Kurt, I can't be calm 'cause look!_" The other boy exclaimed. Kurt could not help but fall more in love with the over eager puppy as his desperation for Kurt to understand and jump around squealing with him was in fact preventing the desired outcome. It was simply adorable.

"_Well I can't look if you keep moving it. Here, Blaine just give it to me._" Blaine handed it over and then peered over top of it so he could read along with Kurt upside down. His initial reaction to the open mic advertisement was something along the lines of what his boyfriend would have expected but upon seeing that it was taking place in a coffee shop seemed to change everything. His face must have shown the anxiety building within because Blaine suddenly stopped jumping.

"_What? What's wrong?_" The younger boy panted slightly out of breath.

"_N-nothing it's nothing,_" Kurt replied handing the flyer back to his boyfriend. Blaine looked at him quizzically and then rescanned the neon green paper presumably for a clue as to Kurt's far from enthusiastic response. Kurt took this as his chance to escape and picked up his book, heading towards the bedroom in the most nonchalant manor he could pull off while his insides twisted in guilt and regret and sadness.

"_Wait, so you're going to come right?_" Blaine called from the living room. Kurt mumbled something intentionally unintelligible before scrambling under the covers in hopes of never being discovered. "_What was that? I didn't quite hear you._" Blaine's voice had grown clearer and there was no denying his presence was now in the bedroom. This fact was made even more evident when the boy lifted the blanket and snuggled into Kurt's cave beside him. "_What are we hiding from?_" Blaine whispered playfully when Kurt still did not respond.

"_You,_" he finally grumbled out.

"_Really? I didn't know I could be that scary,_" the younger boy responded. "_Hey, come on. What's the matter?_" He persisted when Kurt failed to smile at his joke.

"_I can't go to the open mic thing,_" he admitted dejectedly. His boyfriend's face fell immediately which caused the pit in his stomach to sink indefinitely further into the dark underworld festering with his own shame and guilt. "_I know how much this means to you but it's at a coffee shop. I still get nauseas at the smell of coffee. I just don't think I can do it._"

Kurt was a little surprised when Blaine did not respond. There was no push, only a sad, understanding smile as the younger boy opened his arms to let him crawl in. Kurt always felt small when the fear from that night cast its ever reaching shadow over the few beams of light that managed to shine through the cracks, erasing any hope of ever truly seeing the day again. He had grown to seek out the protection of Blaine's strong arms when that light went out so he would not have to stumble around, lost in the darkness because with Blaine, he had a guide.

In the days leading up to the open mic night, Blaine's guitar never left his arms. It was stupid and childish and incredibly insane but Kurt found himself almost jealous of the wooden instrument that had stolen all of his boyfriend's attention and affection. Even Rachel seemed to hold more of his attention. He could see it in the way Blaine's eyes lit up when she complimented his performance from the living room couch or when he listened carefully and actively to every bit of meticulous criticism that only Rachel could give and then proceeded to spend the next several hours perfecting that minuscule imperfection that Kurt failed to agree to be present in the first place. He would not be surprised though if he had just tuned the song out though. He felt so left out and empty. It was almost as if Blaine had never come home.

It was the night of the show when Kurt finally realized that it was not the green eyed monster making him feel so low. It was his own cowardly decline to go and support his Blaine on his big night. Kurt knew the event itself was no big deal. The little coffee shop put them on every other week apparently but for Blaine, this was a once in a life time opportunity to find his place again. Kurt knew this. He knew Mr. Anderberry's world, although terribly cruel, was all Blaine had known. He knew that finally closing the door on that poor excuse of existence was terrifying for him. He knew that Blaine needed to find something other than himself that made him feel like he was finally living and Kurt also knew that music was clearly the boy's ticket to contributing to the thumpa thumpa that kept the city alive through the dark nights.

He decided then and there that it was time to gather what little courage remained inside of him and make himself go and be there to support his boyfriend's rebirth.

"_What are you doing?_" Blaine asked simply when he walked into the bedroom and began rummaging through the dresser drawer. The younger boy stopped nervously trying to tie his bowtie in the mirror on the opposite wall and watched him curiously.

"_I'm getting dressed. I'm going to come,_" he stated simply, not looking up from where he was trying to decide between two shirts. "_Or at least I'm going to try. I mean I'm still really scared but I can chain either you or Rachel to my side-._" He was cut off by a warm body slamming into his back and strong arms wrapping around his waist and squeezing in a way that was verging on painful. It was the smile he could feel on Blaine's lips against the back of his neck that kept him from pushing the boy away in favour and air and intact ribs though. It was that smile that gave him the courage to keep going, to get dressed, to style his hair, to step out the front door and into the small café and take a seat next to Blaine while Rachel went to get them all drinks.

"_Okay so it looks like I'm on third and then there's four more people after me,_" Blaine said as he looked over the pamphlet that had been laid on the table. Kurt could see the younger boy's knee bouncing with nerves.

"_I think you're more freaked-out than am,_" he chuckled placing a comforting hand on his boyfriend's thigh.

"_I know, it's ridiculous, isn't it?_" Blaine said placing his own hand on top of Kurt's and shaking his head.

"_Not at all. But, you're going to be perfect, just relax. And I mean, I'll still love you even if you forget all the words and break your strings._"

"_Not helpful!_" Blaine stated with and playful slap to Kurt's shoulder. "_How are you doing?_"

"_Okay. I'm doing okay,_" Kurt replied, taking a deep breath. The coffee smell was still an unpleasant one but the crowd in the café, all buzzing with excitement, helped drown out that terrifying night. The fact that he was there to support Blaine and could focus all his attention on his nervously, excited boyfriend and ignore himself and his fears was what truly made all the difference though. He was still unsure when he decided to go if he would actually be able to stay. It was the only thing that got him out the door, that he allowed himself an out, promising himself to leave if he became too uncomfortable. When Rachel came back with the drinks, taking a seat on the other side of him and began gushing about the cute guy at the till, everything just slipped snuggly into place and Kurt knew now that he could this. He could be normal again.

He tensed a bit when Blaine's name was called. He did not want the boy to leave his side but Rachel scooted her chair a bit closer to him. Whether it was because she wanted a better view of the stage or because she simply knew, he did not know. Kurt had an inclination that it was a combination of both but it did not matter because having their shoulders and their knees touching subdued the panicky sensation that swept through him once Blaine had dropped his hand to stand and walk to the stage with his guitar.

Kurt could tell his boyfriend was nervous as he took a seat on the small stool in the center of the spotlight lit stage. He could see a small shake in his hands and when Blaine sought out his gaze, Kurt could see that the bright hazel orbs were elsewhere. Out of the corner of his own eyes, Kurt could see Rachel waving manically at her brother with a proud grin on her face. He chuckled softly at her antics, ever the attention seeker. He was a little surprised that she had not hopped up before Blaine to announce who he was and, more importantly, that she was his sister.

He focused back to Blaine who was still gazing in his direction. Kurt smiled reassuringly at the boy in hopes of calming his nerves. It seemed to work because after taking a visibly deep breath, Blaine leaned forwards to the mic.

"_I would like to dedicate this short set to my wonderfully talented, older sister who helped me rehearse and my gorgeous boyfriend, inside and out, who is the most courageous person I have ever known and was kind enough to loan me some of that tonight so I could actually come up here and play for you guys. So, here goes._" And with that, Blaine placed his fingers on the strings and began strumming the opening chords.

Kurt almost missed his first song though, too astonished by the boy's words. To have Blaine so publicly declare his relationship with him was never something he expected from the boy who had just a few months ago run away from himself. With every word he spoke though, Kurt could see him visibly relax, into himself and into his life, and the world, like a weight had been lifted off the broad shoulders. He could not stop beaming at his boyfriend and had to stop himself from running up on that stage and wrapping his arms around him. He could tell Rachel was doing the same. Nothing stopped him however from giving the boy a standing ovation once his three song set was over. Rachel was right there with him, hopping up and down with pride and joy.

The three stayed to watch the other performers. Kurt would have been happy to leave after Blaine was finished but Rachel insisted on getting a piece of chocolate cheese cake to share in celebration of her brother's big night. Kurt knew full well that all she really wanted to do was talk to the guy working there again but he agreed anyways. He had not had cheese cake in a long time.

They left the café just after the last performance. Kurt wrapped his arm around Blaine's shoulders while the other slipped his around his waist. Kurt's free hand found Rachel's and the three started home. They were about a block from their apartment when Blaine's cell began to ring. He fished it from his pocket and answered before handing it across Kurt to Rachel. They stopped while Rachel talked and within seconds Kurt watched the girl's puzzled features shift into a wide grin as she nodded animatedly to whatever the person on the other line was saying. It was not long before she hung up and handed the phone back to Blaine.

"_Guess what?_" She practically squealed.

"_What?_" Blaine humoured with a grin.

"_The producer liked my script. She wants to meet me tomorrow and start working out details so they can actually put it in production,_" Rachel exclaimed as she jumped around happily, still holding Kurt's hand.

"_Oh my god! Rachel, are you serious?_"

"_That's amazing!_"

"_I know, I can't believe it,_" she beamed, slightly out of breath.

"_What is it even about,_" Kurt asked curiously as they continued home. He had asked before but she would never talk about it. "_You have to tell us now._"

"_It's about you two,_" she answered with a sly grin. "_A modern tale of star crossed lovers, the new Romeo and Juliet, two boys just trying to find themselves and find love in a society that condemns them for it._"

"_Are you in it?_" Blaine asked with a knowing tone.

"_Do you not know me at all?_" she replied sarcastically. "_I had to prevent myself from turning my character into the lead._"

"_Why am I not surprised?_" Kurt asked with a smirk.

**A/N: And there you have it! I want to thank everyone who read this story through and especially those who reviewed. I had had this idea for a while and put a lot of effort into flushing it out and I'm really proud that I saw it through.  
I've started another AU multi chapter fic centering around Kurt being asexual so if you're interested it's called 'Just to Feel You'.  
Thanks again  
Katie**


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